Damn the Torpedos!

So last night I was all excited because the USA Network was showing the movie U-571. I know, I know - that's not exciting! Why were you excited?

WELL. I was excited because my new celebrity crush, Matthew Settle, is in that movie. Not for very long, mind you. But he has some lines! And he looks cute! Is there anything else that matters?

(By the way, I'm really not sure about this guy's sartorial choices, as seen in that last photo.)

SO, I was running around my apartment screaming my head off (figuratively) at my good fortune. And I recruited Teem to watch with me. She's a good friend, so she agreed to watch. According to her, the people portraying the Germans were "authentic." Yeah, I don't know either. But I could make out all the numbers they were saying, so I guess three years of taking German really did pay off.

But back to Matthew! He plays the just-married torpedoman, Lt. Larson. Actually, the film did not have nearly enough of the right Matthew (i.e. Settle) and had way too much of the obviously inferior Matthew, Matthew McConnaHEY! Who looked really skeery and stuff, all shaved and intense. But I could deal with him and his naked bongo playing if it meant that I was going to be able to bask in the loveliness that is Matthew "The Better One" Settle.

Oh, and a little too much Jonbon in this film, too. And his funkay haircut. But I do like when Jonbon gets killed by an enormous flying hubcap.

But back to the Matthew that matters. He looks so pretty in his dress whites during his "wedding," and he gets to exclaim that the Navy "didn't even give (me) five minutes to consummate my marriage!" when he finds out he's been sent out to sea. Teem missed that part because she was inexplicably focused on something else, but through the magic of TiVo she was able to replay the scene. And she agreed that his reading of the line was simply astounding.

Later in the film, my Matthew is shot! Repeatedly! In the chestal area! But he lives on, don't you know. He's evacuated off the German submarine and lives to fight (and consummate) another day.

I'd say his screen time was 10 minutes, total. I feel cheated!

Posted by Highwaygirl on May 4, 2004 02:40 PM to the category Celebrity Crush