I had this conversation with my coworker, John, this morning:
[Walks by John's office]
Me: "OH, today deserves something MUCH BETTER than just "morning." It deserves ... "OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!"
John: "Why, did you find another job?"
Me: "No! I've just made the conscious decision that today is going to be a great day. It's going to start out here [raises arm and holds palm horizontally to indicate elevation] and then it will have ... it can only go ... [looks downward] ... wait."
John: "It can only go downhill."
John: "You need to start closer to the bottom ... "
Me: " ... so there isn't much further to fall."
Me: "Alright, then ... I think today is already a crappy day, and therefore it can't get much worse. Thanks." [walks off]
John: "Sorry to ruin your day for you!"