Dear ...

Dear Dole,

Please put more fruit in your fruit cups. I'm interested in eating diced peaches, not drinking a half-cup of "light syrup."

Dear Tivo,

Thank you for sending me your newsletter, which told me how to sort my Now Playing list into folders (press the "enter" button while viewing the list, then turn Groups "On"). It's lovely having all of my Futurama and L&O:SUV episodes grouped together in one tidy place. It's also wonderful to be able to see which shows were recorded off an actor/keyword wishlist. Call me for lunch, k? *smiff*

Dear Payless Shoe Source,

You suck! How dare you change the construction of my all-time favorite black loafers that I purchase from you three times a year for $12.99 a pop?!? This is how I keep my shoes looking sharp all year long, while spending not too much money. That stretchy thing you've added to the top of the upper looks dumb! Loafers aren't supposed to be fancy; they're just supposed to loaf. Thanks for nothing, jerks.

Dear Piggy Eva,

Shut up. A lot. And do not taunt the magic tea bowl. *tweaks snout*

Dear Clover,

Yes, that was acceptable. More than, really.

Dear Westshore Pizza Employee,

I don't care how cute you are. I don't care how much you smile your perfect little "aren't I adorable?" smile at me. Stop calling me "honey" when you're handing me my change. I'm at least 12 years older than you and it's just not right (for now).

Dear Henry Cavill,

Who are you, why have I never heard of you before, and where can I find more of you?

Posted by Highwaygirl on December 2, 2004 11:52 AM to the category Randomness