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February 21, 2006

Stupid People Suck

I've been reading off and on for a year or so about the dumb fake reverend guy - I think his name is Fart Phelps? - who is going to military funerals and staging anti-gay protests. Because funerals are the perfect place for public dissent, naturally.

(Public displays of affection, too - but that might just be if you're either Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes. And if you are, I feel really sorry for you. Oh, and you're insane.)

Anyway, the most reverend Fart Phelps and his merry band of brain-dead, hypocritical, bile-inducing followers are going to have to stop picking on dead soldiers and take on their new nemesis - the Patriot Guard Riders. No word on whether or not any of the Patriot Guard Riders are gay, but statistically speaking, there's a good chance.

So you might be asking - Why, in America in the 21st century, is anyone protesting gay people? It defies belief that a society as tolerant and accepting as ours would judge others based upon their sexual preference, I know.

Well, it seems that Fart believes that "American deaths in Iraq are divine punishment for a country that he says harbors homosexuals. His protesters carry signs thanking God for so-called IEDs -- explosives that are a major killer of soldiers in Iraq."

Now, let's just overlook the philosophical inconsistencies inherent in believing that the Almighty is actively cheering - with pom-poms and high leg kicks - the death of His children. What I want to know is - when did God start making IEDs? And did he pass those mad skillz on to the insurgents? Because if so, that's just bad form.

The bikers, though, try to ameliorate the damage the protesters are attempting to inflict by "shield(ing) the families of dead soldiers from the protesters, and overshadow(ing) the jeers with patriotic chants and a sea of red, white and blue flags." Fourteen states are considering legislation aimed at the funeral protestors.

I don't know if that's going to go anywhere. You can't legislate stupidity (unfortunately).

"This is just the right thing to do. This is something America didn't do in the '70s," said Kurt Mayer, the group's national spokesman. "Whether we agree with why we're over there, these soldiers are dying to protect our freedoms."

Amen, brother. I can't think of a more lovely sentiment than that. But over on the other end of the spectrum we have one Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of Fart and an attorney for the "church" who yammers on that God killed the soldiers because the U.S. - and therefore by extention the military, I guess - embraces homosexuality.

OK, first? The U.S. doesn't embrace homosexuality. Only a total nimrod would believe that, despite all the evidence to the contrary. Second, the military doesn't ask and doesn't want you to tell (much like God, apparently), so targeting people who have died while serving in a historically gay-unfriendly occupation is really kind of pointless.

Male hairdressers die ALL THE TIME - go protest at their funerals!

"The scriptures are crystal clear that when God sets out to punish a nation, it is with the sword. An IED is just a broken-up sword," Phelps-Roper said. "Since that is his weapon of choice, our forum of choice has got to be a dead soldier's funeral."

The SCRIPTURES are "CRYSTAL CLEAR"??? I think my brain just exploded. I've read the Bible, but it was a long time ago, yet I don't recall any passages that described God going apeshit on anyone using a sword. Locusts, yes. Festering boils, sure. Even death of the firstborn (and this begs the question - is Shirley Phelps-Roper the oldest of her siblings?).

God might be able to smite Monaco all by himself with just a sword, but a country as large and diverse (not to mention violent) as the United States? He'd need to employ the services of the KISS Army.

And an IED is not "just a broken-up sword," you twit. Nails, screws, glass, and other small, sharp projectiles (along with explosives), but probably not chopped up pieces of sword. Chopping up a sword would take too much work, and today's extremist just doesn't have time for such frivolities.

I don't know. I'm all for letting stupid people show how stupid they are (the devil you know, as it were), but it just seems that at some point the stupidity reaches maximum saturation and then all you're left with is ... the sword.

Posted by Highwaygirl on February 21, 2006 03:49 PM to the category Current Affairs
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