LISTENING – Jake burned a copy of his Franz Ferdinand CD for me, which I am now hearing for the first time. Yes, I'm very late to this party, but I do blame Jake. Because blaming Jake is my new tradition. Come and dance with me, Michael...
LOOKING – At the scratch on the back of my hand. Because Roo was right with her guess about the special delivery.
Student Kacie Spears said professor Louis Houston lost control right after class began Wednesday morning and was yelling obscenities.
"Then he told us if we got out of our seats he's gonna kill us. He went on the black board and wrote "911 now", so we were really in fear for our lives," Spears told KATC-TV.
Spears said Houston slapped a student and then told his class he was God.
LAUGHING – It's Friday afternoon. That's our only excuse. By the way, yes, Jake is in fact insane:
Jake: oh yeah... did you watch america's next top bulimic?
Jake: hahaha the drama was classic
Me: yes I did
Me: I wanted Jennipherrrrrrrrrrrrr to hit Eva and/or Anne
Jake: i seriously cannot WAIT for amanda to get kicked off
Me: the annie lennox looking chick?
Me: I'm having trouble with their names
Jake: the fucking one that whines about being blind all the time
Jake: my hatred is immense
Me: I like the fake red-hair chick
Jake: yeah she's good
Jake: oh and i loathe the girl that is obsessed with paris hilton
Jake: The one that had braces
Me: she likes to shake her boobs
Me: *rolls eyes*
Jake: they all must die
Jake: Yes, it must happen
Jake: DO IT NOW
Jake: ** plays REE REEE REEE stabbing music from Psycho in head **
Jake: ** blood of evil anorexic model wannabe whores swirls down the drain **
Me: *shocked face*
Me: REE! REE! REE!
Jake: "As everyone in the world knows, a midget should not be underestimated."
Jake: "And that famous warning, "Don't f@#k with a midget" was born."
Jake: I found it by doing a search for "tap dancing midgets"
Me: you are an odd duck
Jake: christ we have like 2.5 hours left
Jake: it would be so easy to just tumble out of this window
Jake: my luck i would only break a leg
Jake: have to crawl back in and up the stairs
Jake: oh FUCK
Jake: i just got that damn boy george song in my head
Jake: ILL TUMBLE FOR YAH
Jake: jesus fucking FUCK
Jake: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAATH EEEEEAAAA
Jake: if I didn't want to kill myself before, I certainly want to eat a bullet now
Jake: Have you ever tried to count the dot impressions on a ceiling tile before?
Jake: There are a lot of 'em
Jake: Nothing beats staring up the ceiling and counting the specs
Jake: one thousand four hundred twenty seven
Jake: one thousand four hundred twenty eight
Jake: Problem is, some of 'em are bigger than others. And to top off the nastiness, some of those bastards have grown too close for comfort
Jake: So... do you count them as ONE dot?
Jake: Or simply two dots against each other
Jake: DECISIONS DECISIONS
Me: This is like a spoken word performance
Me: on planet Bitter Omicron 5
Jake: Sometimes I like to just make funny shapes out of them
Jake: Like looking for animals in the clouds
Jake: OOOOH OOHH there goes a giraffe
Jake: Now I'm curious what sound a giraffe makes
Jake: MEEEEAAAAHHH MEEAAAH?
Jake: no no, that's too much like a donkey's heehaw
Me: The giraffe says, "KILL ME NOWWWW"
Jake: Sometimes I wish I had a pet kangaroo, so I could just nestle up in the fetal position inside it's fleshy pouch
Jake: it brings new meaning to "nap sack"
Jake: I wonder if it's fur inside?
Jake: Is it fleshy?
Jake: I could probably research it online but I'm too lazy
Me: I think I will find you a photo
Jake: Plus i'm too busy trying to find those tap dancing midget photos I told you about
Jake: THEY'RE OUT THERE
Jake: believe you me
Jake: a midget can tap dance
Jake: HAHAHAH GENIUS
Jake: OOH TWO FOR ONE
Jake: midget AND a kangaroo
Me: I really, really think you've lost your grip on sanity, Jake
Jake: What sick fuck gives a little person a pair of boxing gloves and puts him in the ring with a kangaroo?
Jake: Seriously WHAT THE FUCK
Jake: I just wanna know where I can get tickets
Jake: Poor midgets
Jake: All they want is the ball
Jake: I'll betcha that right after the camera flashed, they attacked the tall guy by the knees
Me: dammit, I feel like I'm going to go to hell for laughing at that
Jake: Tore into him like ravenous beasts
Jake: DONT FUCK WITH A MIDGET
Me: stubble on their sticky lips
Me: I just grossed myself out
Me: jesus, attached to the teat for nine months
Me: that would suck
Jake: a most excellent word
Jake: Did you know? A female kangaroo often has another baby in her womb 'in suspense', which means it has developed just a little bit and then stopped and waited. When a joey leaves the pouch, the mother starts its development again and it is born a few weeks after. If conditions are bad, such as times of drought when there is not much food around, the female kangaroo may wait until things improve before letting this baby develop. It is born a few weeks later and crawls into her pouch. This means that there are few kangaroos born during a drought and ensures that there is food for the existing kangaroos. The babies are born when the mothers are feeding well and producing good milk, and so that when the young start to feed on solid food, there is plenty for them too.
Jake: That's fucking genius!!!
Jake: kangaroos will rule the world
Me: They will bring forth their dominion from their fertile wombs only to gestate further in their furry pouches, until one day, when mankind is least expecting it ...
Me: and then ...
Me: CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION
Jake: I'm looking forward to it