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November 09, 2004


This morning I had a terrific conversation with Roo about Communion, and how it has a different significance for Catholics vs. Protestants. I remember when I was a kid and went to church with my grandmother, we would sometimes be treated to the whole "wafers and grape juice" thing (although sometimes the wafers were replaced with croutons, which was better, because the wafers were basically thin round discs of styrofoam).

Gramma was/is a Methodist, and I never fully understood the significance of the "thing," just that it was kind of cool to waltz up to the altar and open your mouth, stick out your tongue, and have the wafer placed upon it. Then you furled (the opposite of "unfurled") your tongue back in and savored the Spongy Disc of Tastelessness, albeit only briefly, before shotgunning the little plastic glass of grape juice. Good times, good times.

Anyway, Roo explained it all and cleared up my heathen-based beliefs, which included the notion that if I attempted to take Communion at a Catholic church that the priest would scream at me the way the pod people scream at humans in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, since he would be able to tell on sight that I'm not a Catholic and was trying to take Communion illegally (as it were). But Roo assured me that would never be the case, because the priest would at least offer me a blessing instead. Good to know!

Then I asked her a bunch of lame stuff and she got sick of my constant, unending questioning - I believe the phrase "Would you just SHUT UP already?!?" was thrown around - and she directed me to a website where I learned the difference between "Cafeteria Catholics" and "Lukewarm Catholics," and that I should "Beware the Freemasons!" And then I decided to test my new-found knowledge:

Roo: are you sitting there reading that whole thing? Hee
Me: the concernedcatholics.org site?
Roo: yeah
Me: I'm taking the Catholic IQ Test
Me: this should be amusing
Me: I got the first one right!
Me: *struts*
Roo: yay for you! I should take it and see how I do
Me: http://www.concernedcatholics.org/iq-test.htm
Roo: heh. I missed 2
Roo: I mean two questions
Me: heh, I got the question "What is Purgatory?" right
Me: good for me
Roo: good job!
Me: "YES!! You are so smart!"
Roo: is that what it says?
Me: on the rare occasion I answer correctly, yes
Roo: hahaha
Me: I got BOTH questions about the Holy Spirit correct
Me: and I know what Original Sin is
Me: wow, God waited until the fifth commandment to tell people not to kill?
Your Catholic IQ score is: 64%.
Questions answered correctly first time: 14/30

Me: that was draining
Roo: that's not bad!

Incidentally, I was lying - which is not a mortal sin! See, I learned something! - about Roo shutting me down when I asked questions. She was extremely gracious and patient in explaining different concepts to me, which is why I really enjoy talking to her about these things.

Posted by Highwaygirl on November 9, 2004 03:51 PM to the category Friends

What's wrong with the Freemasons?

Posted by: Phildozer at November 10, 2004 08:48 AM
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