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January 05, 2005

Kids and Stuff

Me:

Greetings from Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. On behalf of all of us here, I would like to thank you for your care package received today. We are very grateful to you for your generosity. The DVD you sent us will become part of our Camp DVD library. It is people like you who in their generosity make it so evident that we live in the greatest nation in the world. We are proud to serve you, to protect your way of life, and to ensure the hope of a better day tomorrow. I will be posting your letter on the bulletin board so others can respond to your letter.

Me: very kind
Me: I will write him back!
Rappy: damn - that is very nicely written!
Me: yeah, as a chief warrant officer he has to be older
Me: late 20s, early 30s at least
Rappy: god, do you remember Vince Brooks? Good times.
Me: a lot of the contacts are obviously very young because they WRITE LIKE THIS IN THEIR WHOLE POST and they talk to u like dat
Rappy: heh
Me: Vince Brooks? no.
Me: oh!
Me: wait!
Me: the hot black army general?
Rappy: he was the hot General
Rappy: yes!
Me: brief me, baby!
Rappy: you'd like that!
Me: I would not turn that down
Rappy: hey, did I tell you about my paycheck?
Me: no. is it a special paycheck? a MAGICAL paycheck?
Rappy: it was magic all right.
Rappy: I'm putting aside 2000NIS of it towards our trip
Rappy: which should cover the flight.
Me: COOL!
Me: You will like Trina
Rappy: yay!
Me: Actually you and Trina are a lot alike. you'll probably hit it off and not speak to me.
Me: I'll be forced to pick up random Irish boys
Rappy: heh. We're already not speaking to you!
Me: *wail*
Rappy: speaking of Irish boys. What's happening with yours?
Me: well, it's kind of odd
Me: I mean, I'm happy with the way things are
Me: and he seems to be too, for now
Me: but I think eventually he'll break up with me
Rappy: because?
Me: because I don't want a super serious relationship
Me: i.e. marriage
Me: I love the relationship I have with him right now
Me: I don't think I'll ever want to get married, to be honest
Me: maybe I just haven't met the "right" person
Rappy: what about kids?
Me: I'm not feeling the maternal urge as of yet
Me: if I do, I think I would rather adopt
Me: as you know, my genetic material is already fucked up
Me: why pass it on?
Rappy: right.
Rappy: and there are so many kids needing a good home
Me: besides ... exactly
Me: I don't think I'd even want to adopt an infant
Rappy: how are your ribbies doing?
Me: I'd want to adopt, say, a six year old
Rappy: older kids are so much harder to place
Me: they're doing pretty good, I can breathe/laugh/cough without too much discomfort
Me: I think I'd like being a mom to an older kid
Me: I've never been a big BAAAAAAAAAAABIES person
Me: they're fine, but I'm not enthralled with them
Rappy: heh. I thought it was just me.
Me: heck no, man. I have a married friend who absolutely does not want to have children ever.
Me: she doesn't like kids, period
Rappy: And a 6 year old is so much better for a couple of reasons: first, you sleep through the night. Second, you can leave them to their own devices for the most part
Me: well, what it comes down to, for me, is this - I don't want to give up my life to have a child
Me: and if you have an infant, you must do that
Rappy: I don't want to say "never" to having kids, but I *really* don't want them
Me: babies take over your life 24/7
Rappy: exactly.
Me: I'm too selfish to undertake something like that
Rappy: I keep finding more and more reasons not to have them.
Me: it's not for everyone, and I think it's perfectly fine as long as you know that about yourself
Rappy: starting with those tractor sized baby "carriages". I especially appreciate those when I get stuck behind one on the bus
Me: I'm not saying I'll never have kids, either, but it's not something I yearn for right now
Me: not at all
Me: maybe I never will, who knows?
Rappy: the idea of not being able to pick up and go anywhere I want to is reason enough not to have them
Me: that's also reason enough not to get married
Rappy: depends on who you're marrying
Me: true
Me: I'm very much for long term monogamous relationships
Me: but I think there's a 50% divorce rate for a reason
Me: people simply grow apart
Me: I'm not the same person at 34 as I was at 24
Me: it would have been a tossup as to whether or not my boyfriend at 24 would still be compatible with the 34 year old me
Me: know what I mean?
Me: I'm just saying that life is an unending process of growth
Me: and all you can really do is hope the person you're with - if you're with someone - grows in a way compatible with you
Rappy: right
Me: I think that's true of any kind of relationship - romantic, friend, whatever
Me: when it stops working for one or both people, it ends
Rappy: I can't imagine what I have with any of my friends pre-2000
Rappy: My personality and interests totally changed around that time. Even later, actually.
Me: have you ever reconnected with someone from your past?
Me: that you haven't seen or talked to for years?
Rappy: with a couple of friends, and I'm very loosely in touch with them.
Me: I have too, and in many cases it's just jarring how little we have in common now
Rappy: When I did the walkathon for Lisa I went out with a bunch of people afterwards, and could find literally nothing in common with them
Me: we have shared memories, but they're such different people now that I wouldn't even choose them as friends
Me: I guess my thing with romantic relationships is that I don't know that it's possible for someone to (and this sounds bad) hold my interest for the rest of my life

Posted by Highwaygirl on January 5, 2005 06:50 PM to the category Friends
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