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February 10, 2006

Baking Cookies

Rappy: he's a seriously whiny bitch, isn't he?
Me: oh yeah
Me: I think I have a garlic-induced headache
Rappy: that's a new one
Me: *shocked face*
Me: you should be ASHAMED
Rappy: I am
Rappy: very very ashamed
Me: I'm telling Totem
Me: oh look, he stole from you
Rappy: the fucker
Rappy: it's not enough that I give and give and give, he has to go and take more
Me: hahahahaha
Me: *copies*
Me: Totem and I should watch Battlestar Galactica and eat cauliflower together
Rappy: and for your second date?
Me: Baking cookies, of course
Me: I mean that literally, not the euphemism
Me: Although maybe the euphemism, too, depending on how much I like him
Rappy: Why wouldn't you like him? Are you saying my brother isn't good enough for you, bitch?
Me: I'm not saying that at all!
Me: But I don't euphemistically "bake cookies" for just ANYONE
Rappy: dude, you INVENTED the euphemism, you shameless hussy!
Me: I love how we discuss your brother's future without his knowledge
Me: the poor guy is none the wiser, is he?
Rappy: none
Me: I didn't invent the euphemism, though
Me: it's used commonly in reference to Gwyneth Paltrow blowing Harvey Weinstein to get where she is
Rappy: it is? she did?
Me: that's the scuttlebutt!
Me: that's why she was in every Miramax movie for a while
Me: because she was BLOWING the head of Miramax
Me: literally AND figuratively
Rappy: well, it does explain a lot. I don't think she's particularly talented.
Me: me neither. plus she's unbearably smug.
Rappy: and I particularly don't find her attractive.
Me: and her ads for Estee Lauder look like they're actually for a feminine hygeine product
Rappy: I think she looks a little like a rat and cannot fathom why the world finds her to be some sort of icon
Me: Teem won't like the way this conversation is turning, I assure you
Me: *waves at Teemy*
Rappy: Is she reading it?
Me: She will when she checks me site!
Me: She's a Gwyneth fan, god bless her
Rappy: *waves at teem!*
Rappy: well, someone has to be or else we'd have no one to mock
Me: But we love her anyway!

Posted by Highwaygirl on February 10, 2006 04:32 PM to the category Friends

what's a euphemism?

Posted by: abaleh at February 11, 2006 06:56 AM

Totes, a euphemism is: "The act or an example of substituting a mild, indirect, or vague term for one considered harsh, blunt, or offensive."

In this case, it was substituting a seemingly innocent term as a stand-in for something sexually explicit.

Posted by: Highwaygirl at February 13, 2006 04:55 PM

I hope you realize I was being facetious (unsuccessfully, it would appear)

Posted by: abaleh at February 14, 2006 02:35 AM

Ha! I almost asked your sister if you really and truly didn't know what a euphemism was, or if you were toying with me. It just didn't seem right that a former ex-submarine crack Navy military mind wouldn't know.

And here I thought you were just that innocent.

Posted by: Highwaygirl at February 14, 2006 06:12 AM

Gwyneth is just misunderstood, yo.

Plus y'all is jus' jellus.

Posted by: Teem at February 14, 2006 11:18 AM
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