Nobody Said It Was Easy

Coldplay "The Scientist" Listen | Buy

Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Official State Drinking

Today I received a package at work from a company in Newport, R.I. It was a small but somewhat heavy cardboard box, and inside it held three bottles of this:

You're thinking, Why did she order coffee syrup? Well, she didn't. Marcel did! He told me that he had sent me a "little something" this week and although I can't get him on the phone right now to confirm it, this has to be it.

You see, Marcel is from Rhode Island. He was telling me about a diner in R.I. that he wanted to take me to called New York Lunch, so I Googled it and I ended up on a website with information about things to do/see while travelling in R.I. I started looking through the site and eventually learned that Coffee Milk is the official state drink of R.I. I don't like coffee, but I lurve coffee ice cream, so I told Marcel that when he takes me to R.I. he'd have to get me some (and some Del's lemonade).

I guess he didn't want to wait, because I will be having coffee milk TONIGHT. Without him (for now).

Contra-indicated

How I love to watch the morn,
With golden sun that shines,
Up above to nicely warm
These frosty toes of mine.

The wind doth taste of bittersweet,
Like jasper wine and sugar,
I bet it’s blown through others’ feet,
Like those of Caspar Weinberger.

The 40 Questions Meme

Shamelessly stolen from Rappy:

The 40 Questions Meme

1) Who is the last person you high-fived?
I don't think I high-five people, but perhaps if I've been drinking. I would never, ever "fist bop" someone, though.

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive.
Hell yes. If it comes down to "kill or be killed" I have no ethical issues with defending my life.

3) Do you sleep with the TV on?
I don't have a TV in my bedroom, so no. I very rarely fall asleep while watching TV in the living room.

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?
If by "carton" you mean "jug" then yes. Frequently. I live alone, I'm allowed.

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Third grade!

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Yes, and I'm allergic to them. So if you're with me and I get stung by a bee, please rush me to the nearest emergency medical facility.

7) How fast can you type?
Faster than you can read.

8) Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes, but only when it comes to chicken.

9) Eye color:
Baby seal eyes brown.

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
I've only ever been to the drive-in with my family. So that means "no."

11) When was the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
When I broke my arm last year.

12) Do you knock on wood?
I think I better.

13) Do you floss daily?
I most certainly do. Good oral hygeine is key (to what, I'm not sure).

15) Can you hula hoop?
My hips are spring loaded and move like a gyroscope, so yes.

16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
When I want to be.

17) What do you want for Christmas?
Special plans for New Year's Eve.

18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
Yes I do.

19) Do you talk in your sleep?
Only when I have someone laying beside me to talk to. Cats not included.

20) Who wrote the book of love?
Salman Rushdie. Fatwa!

21) Have you ever flown a kite?
Yes, on the beaches of both Florida and North Carolina. I've also politely offered that others should go fly one, too.

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes?
Do I what? Why would I wish on fallen lashes?

23) Do you consider yourself successful?
Still alive? Then yes.

24) How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
My cell is in the car and I don't want to go get it to answer this. But I know I have 17 numbers in my home phone. (I noticed that Rappy answered "About 100" to this question, which I refuse to believe considering that she hates to talk on the phone.)

25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
All the time, but only sarcastically after someone asks for something they know they'll never get ("And I want a pony - but life isn't fair, is it?")

26) Plans for tomorrow?
Gym - work - talk - sleep. With some eating thrown in for good measure. Just like every other day (except Sunday).

27) Can you juggle?
I can cutely pretend to juggle, does that count?

28) Missing someone now?
Yes.

29) When was the last time you told someone "I love you"?
On Sunday.

30) And truly meant it?
On Monday. Ha! Just kidding - I meant it on Sunday, of course.

31) How often do you drink?
When someone offers to buy me one.

32) How are you feeling today?
Cold, as usual. And my left big toe hurts because I stubbed it yesterday. I'm feeling kind of blah physically (hormones) and my trouser cuffs keep sliding under my heels because I'm wearing my new loafer mules, so that's kind of annoying. But other than those things, I'm fantastic.

33) What do you say too much?
OK.

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Close, but no cigar.

35) What are you looking forward to?
April 21.

36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yep, I crawled through my bedroom window with Glen when I was 16 and ended up falling backwards and cracking the window with my heel.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
I've eaten Chinese, so it's possible. Oh wait, dog FOOD. Then no.

38) Can you handle the truth?
As long as it's not Tom Cruise's truth, yes.

39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
I would eat them in a box.

40) Any cool scars?
I've got a small scar across my forehead from being literally clotheslined when I was a kid, and a small scar on my right index finger where my mom's parrot bit me.

I Love the Koos

Me: this is pretty
Me: click the See It Larger link
Me: the cut on those is really interesting
Rappy: totally
Rappy: I like the wide leg bit
Me: yeah, me too
Me: the top probably would not fit me, though
Me: I like men's pajamas so much more than women's
Rappy: I don't own pajamas
Rappy: I sleep in sweatpants and a shirt
Me: I sleep in a t-shirt and shorts, but ...
Me: I was looking for something nicer
Rappy: heh
Rappy: I WONDER WHY!
Me: although I already had the "I don't wear frilly lace lingerie" discussion with Marcel
Me: to which he replied, "lingerie is overrated"
Rappy: heh
Rappy: he's obviously a keeper
Me: you know ... I really think he is
Me: my nephew cracked me up with his "are you gonna MARRY HIM?" questions
Rappy: he is wise beyond his years
Me: this is cute too
Rappy: meh - busy
Me: hmm
Me: yes, perhaps
Me: THIS IS WHAT I DON'T MISS ABOUT DATING
Rappy: yeah
Rappy: but damn, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, you know?
Me: of course not
Me: I will bring Marcel with me to visit you!
Me: he has special ops training, he can protect us from suicide bombers
Rappy: yeah, you're willing to lend him out?
Me: oh HELL NO
Me: I don't share
Rappy: hehehehe
Me: but if things progress with him, I'd like him to meet you
Me: since you're one of my closest friends
Rappy: aw! Thanks babe, YOU TOO!
Rappy: now, back to me being a spinstress...

Where's the Beef?

Or, Penis, Penis, Who's Got the Penis?

On Saturday I took my nephew Alex over to the Museum of Science and Industry in Tampa to see BODIES ... The Exhibition.

It was freakin' COOL. I was a little worried that Alex (who is 10) might be a little grossed out by it, but he liked it a lot. The only room we sort of breezed right through was the one on fetal development (i.e. babies in jars). The exhibit is made up of a series of rooms that address a specific topic (digestion, neurology, reproduction, etc.).

Let me back up a second. The day started with Alex's football game at 11 a.m. It was the first game of the season (he's in a YMCA youth league) and he did really well - two catches, one for a touchdown, and some good defensive plays. He's on the Cowboys this season, and there are two girls on his team. One, nicknamed "Ladypants" (because that's what I heard when Alex was talking about the girl in "navy pants"), kicked ass with two touchdowns.

After the game Alex and I stopped at McDonald's for lunch on the road, then headed over to MOSI. It took us about 30 minutes to find a decent parking space (parking is free, but the Renaissance Festival was also going on nearby, so there was nowhere to park).

The first thing we did at MOSI was go to the IMAX Dome Theater to see "Dolphins." Neither Alex nor I had seen an IMAX movie before, so it was an overwhelming experience. MOSI's IMAX theater is a dome, so the film filled our entire visual field. You could look to the upper right and see something, then glance to the lower left and notice something different. It was a little disorienting when the camera started swooping down on a coastline, but still an amazing experience.

And I love dolphins, so of course the film itself was terrific (with soundtrack by Sting!). The story of Dean and JoJo almost made me tear up a little bit.

After the film it was off to see some dead bodies. There were a lot of people at the museum because it was the second-to-last weekend for the exhibit. The first exhibit of a full body that we came upon was of one posed in a reclining position. Alex and I were admiring the muscular systems when I heard the following:

WHERE'S THE PENIS?

My head whipped around to see who was inquiring as to the location of someone's penis, and it was a little old lady about four feet tall. She practically pushed me out of the way to get right up to the body, and then she started checking out the body's crotch. Clearly there is no humility, even in death.

WHERE'S THE PENIS, GEORGE?

I'm assuming George was the little old woman's husband, and George was glancing around the room trying to sink down into the carpet to escape detection. I'm standing there trying not to crack up (because we all know that PENIS is the funniest word in the English language), but not doing a very good job of it.

George: I don't know where his penis is, Sylvia.
Sylvia: Why would someone cut off his penis?
George: I don't know, Sylvia.
Sylvia: Do you think someone stole his penis?
Me: *snicker*
George: I don't think someone stole his penis.
Sylvia: So WHERE is the PENIS, George?
Me: *snort*

Fortunately, there was a plethora of plasticined penises for Sylvia to gaze at throughout the rest of the exhibition. Not to mention all of the preserved testicles that looked (to me, at least) like door knockers. I don't think I'll ever look at testicles the same way ever again, now that I've seen them laid bare.

I also thought it was funny how, even in death, some men are more impressive than others.

After BODIES we went over to the Kids in Charge! museum. That was a lot of fun because there was so much hands-on stuff to do.

We spent almost five hours at MOSI, then drove home, ordered from Pizza Hut (a medium half cheese, half Pepperoni Lovers), and then played World of Warcraft until 1 a.m. Alex was nice enough to allow me to take a call from Marcel, after I asked for his "permission" to do so, and then proceeded to grill me with questions about Marcel that included "What color hair does he have?" and "Are you going to marry him?"

Ten year olds - so precocious.

And All I Want You To Do

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles "You Really Got a Hold On Me" Listen | Buy

I don't want you
But I need you
Don't wanna kiss you
But I need to
Though you do me wrong now
My love is strong now
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I love you
And all I want you to do
Is just

Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me

Tighter
Tighter

I wanna leave you
Don't wanna stay here
Don't wanna spend another day here
Though I wanna split now
I can't quit now
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I love you
And all I want you to do
Is just
Hold me (please)
Hold me (squeeze)
Hold me
Hold me

You really got a hold on me

Swoonworthy

Someone that I've been missing (but thinking about constantly) just wrote me this:

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we are in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.

It's a quote from a Calvin & Hobbes strip. I love Calvin & Hobbes. I'm not sure he knew that, but even if he did, I'm taking it as a SIGN.

Plus, how sweet of a sentiment is that? I will admit that I read it and swooned.

I am so, SO gone.

These Words Hang Empty In the Air

Tones On Tail "Christian Says" Listen | Buy

In this age of frozen freaks
The only highs we get are low
In this age of cold relief
Brings only what a way to go
With the money in your pocket
You stay wise and always free
But with that money in your pocket
You've got nowhere to go

But baby, baby, baby wants an empire
Baby, baby, baby needs a real thief
'Cause baby, baby, baby wants an empire
Baby, baby, baby wants a real piece

These words hang empty in the air
The only sounds you speak are dumb
And I'm a vampire
In this age of golden grief
Your own reflection's on the blink
This burning issue won't cease
This burning issue's got to go

'Cause baby, baby, baby wants an empire
Baby, baby, baby wants a real thief
'Cause baby, baby, baby needs an empire
Baby, baby, baby wants a real piece

Towering Inferno

I like lasagna as much as the next person - actually, probably more - but this is a little excessive:

That is the new Layers & Layers of Lasagna entree at Romano's Macaroni Grill. Eat it and die!

And So It Begins

This morning I was walking back to my desk at work after a meeting and I saw this:

Someone sent me FLOWERS!!!

Who is this someone? He is my potential Option E, Marcel. I spent the rest of the day answering the questions "Is it your birthday?" (almost, on Sunday) and "Who are they from?" (someone really wonderful).

Here's a closer shot of the arrangement:

And finally a macro shot of my favorite type of flower in the arrangement (but I don't know what type it is):

*mimes "pretty!"*

New Junk

I've relaunched my A Thousand Words feature over there on the right nav, but this time I'm using the new Flash-based Flickr badge. Once I upload more photos to Flickr (I only have 12 there at the moment), you won't see the same photo duplicated several times in the badge, but for now that's all I've got.

'Til I Reach a Higher Ground

highwaygirl: Chris needs to be wearing nothing but a tube sock
Magpie: HWG!
Cops: agreed, HWG.
Donna: oh, no. nooooo HWG.
gfrc: Oh, and Chris rocks.
highwaygirl: what, mags? it would be strategically placed.
Magpie: where? on his foot? you perv.
Donna: it's the mime in her.
Magpie: IN her
highwaygirl: hahahahaha
lifeonhold: heeee

Ashkara

Me: give him a call, see what he can do for you
Erika: and he's from Scotland!
Me: DEFINITELY give him a call
Me: jesus, just to hear him talk
Me: can I give him a call?
Erika: well, it said he moved here when he was 10
Me: oh
Erika: so he might not have an accent
Me: well call him and find out. if he does, send me his phone number.
Erika: hee
Erika: not a chance, you whore
Erika: I keep the Scottish boys to meself!
Me: hahahahaha

Rappy: I'm going to start teaching you a Hebrew (sort of) word a day.
Rappy: Today's word:
Rappy: Ashkara. "Totally"
Rappy: As in:
Rappy: - BDI is such a douche
- Ashkara
Me: HAHAHAHA
Me: Ashkara
Rappy: now YOU find a way to put it in a sentence
Me: hmm
Rappy: want another one?
Me: Programmers are stupid idiots.
Me: "Ashkara"
Rappy: EXCELLENT! *awards gold star*
Me: gimme another
Rappy: Fashla, "Major fuck up"
Rappy: example:
Rappy: Erasing that database was a first class fashla
Me: oh GOD
Me: I could use that every hour
Rappy: more?
Me: wait, I have to use it
Me: so I remember it
Me: um...
Me: The war in Iraq is a major fashla on the part of Bush
Rappy: no.
Rappy: A fashla is big, but no fashla is that big

Me: And Purim is ...
Rappy: Purim is the holiday in which we commemorate having beaten the Persian scheme to kill all Jews by killing the Persians instead.

Me: take your oven with you when you go see Totem
Me: so he can bake me some lemon cookies
Rappy: yeah, let me get right on that.
Me: strap it to your back
Me: it will be good exercise
Rappy: I should carry it on my back while riding my bike
Me: yes, even better!
Me: I am going grocery shopping on my lunch hour
Me: does that make me lame?
Rappy: yes
Me: awesome
Me: OH
Me: BY THE WAY
Me: I want you to know that I did not make tabbouleh this weekend
Me: so I am NOT addicted
Rappy: did you run out of parsley?
Me: no, I specifically didn't make it
Rappy: because you didn't want to or because you were trying to prove a point?
Me: well the latter, of course
Rappy: not buying it
Me: shut up

Pre-Occupation

Heh. I've been so distracted that I haven't posted here in over a week. I blame ... clowns.

But it's definitely been a pleasure.

Boys Am Dumb

Rappy: This was a shopping mall, now it's a peaceful oasis
YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT
Me: oh dude
Me: I am so sick
Me: *blurf*
Rappy: wha?
Rappy: what did you eat?
Me: Italian, last night, during a date
Me: the date SUCKED and now my insides are on the outside
Rappy: a date? with whom? and sucked how?
Me: a guy named Mark, who works with my friend Glen
Me: not a blind date, since I've hung out with him before
Me: anyway, it was supposed to be just a casual thing, but he took me to a romantic restaurant
Me: first problem
Me: so then we went to my place after to watch Lost
Me: and he was looking at the books on my bookcase, and noticed the ones I had on cancer
Me: he asked about them so I told him about having had Hodgkin's
Me: and it was like the ARCTIC in my living room the rest of the night
Me: he barely spoke over the next 45 minutes
Me: when before I couldn't get him to shut up
Rappy: I'm sorry, when did cancer turn into AIDS?
Me: yeah, especially since I've been in remission for ALMOST 10 YEARS
Me: so, whatever. it's his loss, not mine.
Me: but I haven't had that happen in a few years, so it was pretty stunning
Rappy: that is just so fucking retarded any which way you look at it.
Me: you betcha
Me: I'm going to talk to Glen later and tell him
Rappy: did I mention it was RETARDED?
Me: Glen will probably go give him all sorts of hell, which the dork deserves
Rappy: I'm sorry. I cannot wrap my head around someone having a reaction to CANCER like it's leprosy or something.
Me: anyway, I woke up at midnight wanting to puke my guts out
Me: and then proceeded to do so over the next three hours
Me: plus I'm having the worst cramps ever in the history of womankind
Me: so I just got to work, and I'm going to skip lunch and stay here until 3, then go home
Rappy: yikes
Rappy: *hug*
Me: thanks *hug*
Me: how was your day?
Rappy: boring
Rappy: wait - I said that yesterday when you asked
Rappy: ask me again
Me: how was your day?
Rappy: boring
Rappy: wait...

Rappy: wow - Sean Astin's character on 24 is so pathetic
Me: DUDE
Me: thank god Curtis stepped up
Rappy: dude!
Rappy: NOT THERE YET :-)
Me: Sean Astin is a craptastic actor
Me: I nearly cried tears of joy seeing Peter Weller
Rappy: Peter Weller?
Me: this show has several of my adolescent crushes
Me: he's playing the guy Jack goes to see
Rappy: ah
Me: he was Buckaroo Banzai
Me: *swoon*
Me: I have also swooned over Julian Sands
Rappy: ?
Me: he's playing the blonde euroterrorist
Rappy: ah
Rappy: Eurorist :-)
Rappy: WTF happened to Kim Raver's nose? I think she's two timing Jack with Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon