Teem Goes Both Ways

Me: I fell in love with a perfume
Teem: yay!
Teem: which one?
Me: we're going to have a torrid affair
Me: Narciso Rodriguez For Her
Teem: whoa!
Teem: somebody at the museum was telling me about that one
Me: I am in LOVE
Me: I bought samples off eBay
Me: to make sure it's LOVE
Me: if it is, I will then purchase
Me: it's a little TOO spicy right out of the gate
Me: but about 30 minutes later - heaven
Me: and I can still smell it on myself somewhat
Teem: what are the notes?
Me: I can't actually find a good listing
Me: Sephora doesn't have it
Me: but according to MUA it has musk and vanilla
Me: which I usually HATE
Teem: oooh
Teem: yes!
Teem: but sometimes it's good
Me: but godDAMN it smells good on me
Me: like, sexy, sultry good
Me: but not overwhelming
Teem: *mounts you*

If the Answer Is No

The Killers "Change Your Mind" Listen | Buy

So if the answer is no
Can I change your mind?

Out again
A siren screams at half past ten
And you won't let go
While I ignore
That we both felt like this before
It starts to show

So if I had a chance
Would you let me know?

Why aren't you shaking?
Step back in time
Graciously taking
Oh you're too kind

And if the answer is no
Can I change your mind?

We're all the same
And love is blind
The sun is gone
Before it shines

And I said if the answer is no
Can I change your mind?

Monster Balls

Roo: I am eating pretzel balls and peanut butter
Roo: "brain food"
Roo: these pretzel balls are awesome
Roo: I don't even like pretzels
Me: pretzel ... balls?
Roo: http://www.taquitos.net/snacks.php?snack_code=1785
Me: oh my
Me: where did you find those?
Roo: but my boss got me this MASSIVE container of them
Roo: because I couldn't find them
Roo: she got them at Publix!
Roo: they're buttery and yummy
Roo: and healthy!
Roo: 1.5 grams of fat, 110 calories
Roo: for 30 of them
Me: well, I will have to go to Publix at lunchtime, then!
Roo: yay!
Me: to get the apple caramel popcorn, and look for those
Roo: they are REALLY yummy with a bit of peanut butter
Roo: I think it's the perfect snack!
Me: http://www.thepretzelpeople.com/pages/3/index.htm
Me: chocolate covered pretzel balls!
Roo: oh Lord, chocolate dipped peanut butter pretzel balls
Roo: *dies*
Roo: I love balls
Me: oh, me too
Me: LOVE
Me: BALLS
Roo: and I bet the balls filled with stuff will be of teh awesome
Roo: BALLS RULE!
Me: Vive le Balls!
Roo: *holds balls*
Me: *raises balls*
Roo: *dips balls in peanut butter*
Roo: *eats*
Roo: hee!
Me: *licks balls clean*
Roo: tee hee
Roo: Vive le balls...hee
Roo: yes, clearly I am in need of more pretzel balls
Me: dammit, now I need these balls
Roo: yes you do
Roo: everyone deserves these balls
Me: why must you taunt me with your luscious balls?!?
Roo: the balls of goodness
Me: happy fun balls
Roo: I didn't even know I liked the balls! But then my boss brought them in!
Roo: and now I have a container of zee balls under me desk
Me: ooh, I see the big container
Me: http://www.thepretzelpeople.com/pages/4/index.htm
Roo: yes! those are mah balls!
Roo: except MINE have a yellow top
Me: hopefully I can find them
Me: I WANT BALLS
Roo: Yes you do!
Roo: Best
Roo: Balls
Roo: EVAH!
Me: I cannot be denied my fair right to these balls
Roo: we should add a new amendment to the constitution
Roo: "the right to bear balls"
Me: I will search far and wide for these balls
Me: like Lewis and Clark
Me: that's it!
Me: I will spend my lunch hour procuring these balls!
Me: no matter the cost!
Roo: Yay!
Roo: I'm like the ball guru!
Me: you are my ball pimp
Me: pimping your luscious salty balls
Roo: don't forget buttery!
Roo: and healthy!

Smile For the Camera

I think it's really nice of Google Maps to provide detailed satellite imagery of U.S. Naval Bases, including the placement of aircraft carriers. I can't imagine any improper use for this information whatsoever.

Gyrage

You know how I have that 101 in 1,001 list of things I want to do? Well I'm putting it on a brief hiatus, because the next thing - the absolute NEXT THING I am going to do - is not on that list.

It is time:

I am going to buy a gun.

I figure, why not? I live in Florida. The governor of my fine state just signed legislation that allows me to use deadly force, in public, in circumstances where I feel in imminent danger of great bodily harm.

(What I love about that story is the first sentence, and how Gov. Jeb Bush had a lobbyist from the N.R.A. standing right beside him as he signed the new law into effect. Bush doesn't even attempt to hide the lengths to which the gun lobby influences the laws in this state. That's pretty ballsy, Jeb!

Or, you're a clueless halfwit.)

Forget that my definitions of "imminent," "danger," and "great bodily harm" might be different than most. I'm taking this to mean that if some random person menaces me with a ... fork ... while I'm walking through the food court at the mall, then I have carte blanche to shoot them in the head.

I also have the state-sanctioned right to shoot someone in the head if I feel that YOU are in imminent danger of great bodily harm.

Two words: Vigilante. Justice.

*puts on spurs and cowboy hat*

I guess I can't blame Bush completely for this horrible law. It passed the Florida senate 39-0. Which just defies explanation as far as I'm concerned. Did no one think this law was a collosally bad idea?

I also want to get the opposite of a concealed weapons permit. I don't want to be legally allowed to hide my gun. I want to be able to wave my gun around with impunity. I want to be packin', and I want everyone to know it.

Look at me askance and no longer will you be getting a boot to the chest - you'll be getting hot! bullet! action! to the head.

I just don't know what flavor of gun I want. Do I want something small and girly, or do I want a big badass gun that I can point at people sideways like all the cool kids do?

I'm also going to need to perfect the ability to simultaneously point both a flashlight and my gun at someone, just like Mulder and Scully do.

Hey. I wonder if this means I can legally carry a flamethrower in public? Because that's always been my dream. Screw guns - no one is going to mess with an angry chick wielding a lit flamethrower.

Even I Can Play Dead

Dandy Warhols "Nietzsche" Listen | Buy

[Yes, that's it.]

"EAT ME!"

Current favorite foods – Luna bars in Lemon Zest (these are TO DIE FOR if you like sweet lemon desserts), steamed broccoli tossed with crumbled blue cheese (I've had this three nights in a row; tonight will be four), Boca Italian Sausage on a whole wheat bun with mustard, almonds, Fuji apples (and ONLY Fuji apples).

Me: if I ever want in vitro fertilzation, I'm coming to Israel for it
Me: because it's cheap, but well regulated
Me: according to Glamour magazine
Rappy: for foreigners?
Rappy: you have to remember that we have universal health care here
Rappy: I don't imagine that a foreigner would be given the same treatment, cost wise
Me: for foreigners
Rappy: oh, nifty
Me: it's about a fifth as expensive as in the US
Me: less frills, of course
Me: but if I ever start bleating for a kid and can't conceive, I'd rather pay $2,500 than $12,000
Rappy: haha
Rappy: "bleating"
Rappy: hahaha
Me: heh, I've already determined what my future child is worth to me
Rappy: so eloquent
Me: know thyself, so that thy may know god
Me: or something
Me: I heard that during the papal festivities
Rappy: you know what is impossible to do here?
Me wot?
Rappy: Explain to someone that you don't want a child.
Me: you can't do that ANYWHERE
Rappy: I fucking hate it when people respond to that by saying I don't know what I'm talking about.
Rappy: I literally have NO desire for a baby
Me: Me neither
Rappy: None.
Me: I want a 4 year old
Me: young enough to mold, but none of the sleep deprivation
Rappy: I thought you wanted a 6 year old
Me: I adjusted lower to account for education
Me: I need to get it before kindergarten
Me: so I can teach it to read and count ahead of time
Me: so it will be referred to by its teacher as THE UBERGARTNER
Rappy: hahahaha
Rappy: you want your kid to look smrtr than the other kids! You selfish bitch!
Me: look nothing
Me: I want him to BE smarter
Me: stronger
Me: faster...
Me: UBER
Rappy: *olympic rings*
Me: in fact, maybe I'll name him "Uber" and be done with it
Rappy: that's a pretty big name to live up to
Me: bad nicknames would result, though
Me: "Ooby"
Me: "Oobs"
Me: "Udder"

In the last 2 hours I have ingested approximately 64 ounces of SoBe Lean Diet Cranberry Grapefruit, and I still have more left to drink. As it turns out, if you order a large fountain drink at Quiznos, and then return on a future day with cup in hand, you can get a refill for a mere 25 cents.

I must have had a very happy look on my face when the owner of the store told me this, because we had the following exchange:

Quiznos owner: You're going to abuse this privilege, aren't you?
Me: Yes, yes I am.

Someone Out There Will Find Me

Green Day "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" Listen | Buy

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
And know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

The World Drags Me Down

The Cult "She Sells Sanctuary" Listen | Buy

The sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive
And the sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive, keeps me alive

The world
And the world turns around
The world and the world
The world drags me down

[OK, I'm not going to transcribe this whole song, because the lyrics are totally repetitive. And a little ... yeah. I think the music is what makes this song so good.]

Mystery Solved

Several years ago, a few months after I started at my current job, one of my coworkers ate a box of Stouffer's Macaroni & Cheese that I had brought in for lunch on a Friday and forgot about. I planned on having it the following Monday, only to find that some DAMNABLE BASTARD had consumed it over the weekend.

I suspected Jake. He'd be the kind of person who would do something like that. But he maintained, for YEARS, that it was not him.

I talked to Jake earlier tonight ...

Me: I know you mess with food, YOU ATE MY MAC & CHEESE
Me: *winking smiley*
Jake: oooh shit that's right... I was supposed to buy you a replacement before I left too
Jake: sorry I honestly forgot
Me: finally you admit to it!!!!
Jake: I did finally confess right?
Jake: OH SHIT!
Me: not until right now!!!
Jake: I THOUGHT I DID BEFORE I LEFT
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!!!
Jake: SORRY!!!!
Jake: I CAN EXPLAIN!
Me: OH MY GOD!!!
Me: YOU LIED TO ME
Jake: I didnt realize it was yours until AFTER you gave me shit
Jake: yes
Jake: I lied
Me: OVER AND OVER AND OVER
Jake: BUT
Jake: HAHAHA YES
Jake: because I planned on telling you years later
Jake: which is what has happened I suppose
Jake: so it was like this
Jake: I was there over the weekend
Jake: AND I TOO HAD BEEN EATING THOSE FUCKING THINGS
Me: they're sinfully delicious, I know
Jake: and I saw one in the freezer
Jake: thought it was mine from a while back
Jake: ate it
Jake: then whenever you started talking about it
Jake: or rather complaining about the theft
Jake: I had to deny it
Me: dude
Me: I am outing you
Jake: hahahahah, I am truly sorry

Light No Whip

I have never had a coffee-type beverage at Starbucks. It's true! I've only had the Caramel Apple Cider and the hot chocolate. But this afternoon, Cindy and I are going to skip down there and partake of the following:

Caramel Mocha Frappuccino® Blended Coffee

"A delightfully sweet combination of coffee, chocolate and caramel syrup blended with ice. Topped with whipped cream and a drizzle of caramel sauce."

We're getting it made "light" (with skim milk) and no whipped cream (because whipped cream is of the devil).

All I've Got Is a Photograph

I am currently in the market for a new camera. Primarily because I want to have a really good piece of equipment when I go to Ireland in October, because I plan on taking millions of photographs of the scenery (including cute Irish boys) while I'm there.

I currently have a Canon A20, and while it works just fine and takes decent shots, I want MORE.

So I've narrowed my choices down to two, and I'm remaining brand loyal to my beloved Canon - the A95 and the G6.

The G6 is definitely the "better" camera in almost every way (megapixels, functionality), but it's also $200 more than the A95 (although still within my price range). My only hesitation is that I'm just not sure I need that much camera. I like being able to play with settings and tweak things - I'm not content with just a point-and-click camera - but I'm also not a professional by any means.

In other words, I like the option of fully manual control of the camera, but honestly, I'm not sure how often I'd use it.

I need someone to sway me one way or the other.

Tears of Joy

Four words:

JAKE IS COMING BACK!

And he'll probably be sitting with me and Cindy in our office, since his old one is now taken. But still.

JAKE IS COMING BACK!

*weeps*

Better Living Through Photoshop

I don't know how most of you access this page - whether or not you've bookmarked directly to this portion of my site, or if you come in through the root URL, highwaygirl.com. If you've linked directly to this page, you may have missed the facelift that I gave the home page this evening.

Well, actually, it was a joint effort. Eric and I spent the better part of two hours working on it. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we're both total perfectionists when it comes to things like this. The bulk of the work was done within a half hour or so, but then we spent the rest of the time tweaking it and making sure it was absolutely letter perfect.

Here's a before and after, starting with the old home page:

And here's the new one:

I have to admit - I am in love with it. I think it looks so much more inviting and warm and dynamic. There's a sense of movement in it, whereas the original version was much more static in comparison.

Eric gets most of the credit, though. He found the photo, and came up with the idea to use three unequal panels (since the main portion of the road was on the right side). He also did the actual splicing of the photo, and in a triptych like this that is really the most difficult part.

I only tweaked the code, did a little cropping, and redid the small "highwaygirl" logo at the bottom. The finished product is about 65% Eric's work and 35% my own.

Still - we make a damn good team. The dueling perfectionism paid off nicely, I think.

Thermostat Wars

So. Last week two new people moved upstairs in my building, taking up Jake's old office. We also hired a brand new person (the research assistant position I was interviewing for) and she's in there, too.

WELL.

Ever since then, it has been BRUTALLY COLD back in my office. The thermostat is out in Jake's old office. It's a new digital thermostat that has been in place for about a month. We never had a problem with it until ... THEY came over.

My office is FRIGID. I'm wearing a t-shirt, a long-sleeved shirt, and a sweater, and I'm still shivering. Cindy (my officemate) just came over and put her fingers on my cheek - ice cold.

My fingernails are a lovely shade of lavendar, even without the benefit of nail polish.

I'm seriously considering lighting the spare desk in my office on fire. It's only particle board rather than real wood, but I'm sure it will burn all the same. It might give off some noxious (and ultimately fatal) fumes, but that's only of secondary concern at this point.

And let me tell you something - walking around with CONSTANT HEADLIGHTS is a.) not funny, and b.) rather painful.

Fristing

Bill Frist is an idiot.

I believe I dislike Frist, the cat killer/doctor who believes in diagnosis by VIDEO, even more than I dislike Tom DeLay. I mean, really - how clueless do you have to be to say that Democrats are "against people of faith" for blocking President Bush's judicial nominees?

And somehow, I don't think "faith" refers to those who are Muslim or Jewish.

I really liked this part: "The Democratic minority has blocked confirmation of 10 of President Bush's judicial nominees by preventing Republicans from gaining the 60 votes needed to close debate ... Dr. Frist has threatened that the Republican majority might change the rules to require only a majority vote on nominees...."

Arrogant twat.

Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) is on record as saying he would vote against that measure. Which is why I LOVE HIM.

I used to love the X-Files. As much as I hate to admit it, the show started going downhill fast when David Duchovny left. I really loved Gillian Anderson, too, but the whole point of the series was the dynamic between Mulder and Scully, so once Duchnovy jumped ship the show lost its center.

However, I could have done without Duchovny being such a monumental ass about things. He left to pursue fame and fortune in the movies and gave all the world the impression that television - and Mulder - were beneath him. OK, can't really blame him for that. He's an ACTOR (say that with a flourish and a dramatic wave of the hand), that's what they do.

But it's kind of nice - schadenfreudelicious, if you will - that Duchovny has done a whole bunch of nothing since blowing off the X-Files. The New York Times sums up his new movie, "The House of D", thusly:

"The reasons to avoid David Duchovny's unwatchable coming-of-age drama can best be summarized in a simple declarative sentence. Robin Williams plays a retarded janitor."

My favorite Nascar driver is Kasey Kahne, and it's solely because he's dreeeeeeeamy. Apparently I'm not the only one to fall for the good-looks-as-marketing-ploy (nice photo of Kasey in that story, too).

*waves Kasey Kahne foam finger*

Everything's Broken Now

Idlewild "Quiet Crown" Listen | Buy

What should I take with me to the North
It's the good North
The promised success, the appropriate North
It's the good North

Apparently you're happy, you realized
I'm meant to be unhappy, I've realized (I'm not Ben Hoy)

What should I take with me to the North
It's the good North
The promised success, the appropriate North
It's the good North

'Cause I want to reunite
I’ll never save (What will you save?)
When everything's broken now
I want to reunite
I’ll never save (What will you save?)
Everything's broken

I want to fly a little to the right
I'll never get to Crowsdell
And I want to stay awake all night
To realize (I'm not Ben Hoy)

What should I take with me to the North
It's the good North
The promised success, the appropriate North
It's the good North

'Cause I want to reunite
I need to save (What will you save?)
When everything's broken now
I want to reunite
I need to save (What will you save?)
When everything's broken now

Everything's gone now
Everything's gone now
Everything's gone running without a sound

Dirrrty Girls

Terri Schiavo's parents have sold the list of people who donated to her cause to a conservative direct-marketing firm. That's ... screwed up.

Rappy: Erika and I analysed your answers to the name machine.
Rappy: YOU ARE DIRTY!
Rappy: DIRTY!
Rappy: DIRRTY, even!
Me: who, me?
Rappy: YES!
Me: why's that?
Rappy: We both know who you're crushing on, and what your weird object was...
Me: well the weird object is obvious
Me: and I'm sorry, but dildos ARE weird objects
Rappy: haha
Me: and I just liked the way "gooben" sounded
Rappy: now let's discuss this crush...
Me: it sounded funnier then my first choice, "gooeric"
Me: AND MAYBE I MEANT BEN AFFLECK
Me: jeez
Rappy: GOD, THAT'S EVEN WORSE!
Me: weirdly enough, I had a dream with Ben Affleck in it last night
Me: well, he was on the phone
Me: not there in person
Rappy: you're not helping yourself here, my little friend
Me: he was inviting me to come play racquetball at his new house
Me: odd, no?
Rappy: was Jen going to be there?
Me: well it was his "new" house so I assumed he bought it with her
Me: but the invitation to play ball meant he CLEARLY wanted me
Me: yes?
Rappy: sure
Rappy: yeah
Rappy: or a threesome
Me: *shocked face*
Rappy: DUDE, YOU WROTE DILDO, what is so surprising?

Side note: I am not anti-Republican. I like Republicans. I even LOVE a Republican (or two). I have a wee little crush on John McCain, and a slightly bigger one on Colin Powell.

That said, Tom DeLay is the ANTICHRIST.

One of the next books I want to get is Honor Bound - American Prisoners of War in Southeast Asia, 1961-1973. I've always been interested in the Vietnam War, and the issue of POWs, and this book looks interesting. The authors have good pedigrees, too - Rochester was the deputy historian of the Office of the Secretary of Defense, and Kiley is a former Air Force Academy professor and noted POW historian.

Julie Julie Bo Bulie

This was stolen from Roo (who stole it from MissKatelynne), but it's mainly for RandomBen, who is addicted to these things (silly punanny).

Best! Rock Band Name! Ever!

Oh, and my Girl Parts Name is "Delta of Venus" and my Penis Name is "Ivan the Terrible," which is unsurprising.

As In Afterward

Idlewild "Live In a Hiding Place" Listen | Buy

Or do you worry that I try
To avoid the point and then deny
The time I spent deciding it was you again

It's when I live in a hiding place
It's the only way I feel safe
When I'm safe in a hiding place
(That's not hidden now)
I'm safe in a hiding place
It's the only way I feel safe
When I'm safe in a hiding place

And you're full of facts
But not things that could add up to words
I'm sick about meaning more as an afterword
As in afterward

I return but don't remain
I'm impatient for a reason
To complain about winter
Making me see through again

Or is it your damaged reply
That makes me realize that the more I try
The less that plans will help me comprehend again

So I live in a hiding place
It's the only way I feel safe
When I'm safe in a hiding place
(That's not hidden now)
I'm safe in a hiding place
It's the only way I feel safe
When I live in a hiding place

And you're full of facts
But not things that could add up to words
You're sick about meaning more as an afterword

And you're full of facts
But not things that could add up to words
Sick about meaning more as an afterword
As in afterward

Trippy

Who knew almonds were hallucinogenic?

Leeching

Me: I am SO HAPPY!
Me: Eric downloaded that new Idlewild CD and sent it to meeeeeeee
Me: *rocks out*
Me: well, sorta
Me: they don't really rock out
Rappy: Eric is all kinds of awesome, isn't he?
Me: pretty much, yeah

I'll still buy it in August, because I love this band and want to support their ability to make future CDs. But the impatient harpy in me no longer has to wait four months to hear the tracks.

Aaaaand now I've been introduced to the wonderful world of torrents. Rappy hooked me up with Bitcomet, and a site that lists torrent files, and I've just finished downloading the Idlewild CD that I found inexplicably broken yesterday.

I am going to stay away from file sharing programs like iMesh, because they are of the devil. I tried to uninstall iMesh, and four anti-spyware/adware programs later there was STILL remnants of it on my computer.

I had to go wading into my registry. I think it worked ok.

This time ...

Where In the World Is Jake?

I'm on the phone with JAKE! He's on I-57 in Illinois, 70 miles outside of Champaign, where he'll pick up I-39. He's excited because he's going to be passing by Rockford, of Rockford Files fame.

He also passed the biggest crucifix ever, which just said THE CROSS - TRUCKERS WELCOME.

Tennessee gas stations had small sausages for sale called "Li'l Chubs."

I Don't Understand

Every morning I try to grab a few CDs out of my big enormous CD binder and take them into work. This particular morning, I was all excited to take Idlewild's The Remote Part with me. I hadn't listened to it in awhile, but I'd been thinking about the first single from that release - "American English" - and really wanted to hear it.

So I go to take it out of the sleeve, and ... it's in two pieces.

TWO. SEPARATE. PIECES.

I don't have to tell you that this is not the way CDs are supposed to be. I have no earthly idea how a CD that has not moved from this sleeve inside this binder for at least 8 months somehow got split in two, but ...

It's dead, Jim.

I should have grabbed 100 Broken Windows instead.

Anyway, I was complaining about this to John in an email and I couldn't remember the actual name of the CD, so I went to the band's website to look it up. Which is when I saw that they have new a CD out, Warnings/Promises. This excites me in ways you cannot imagine.

So I click around for a release date and ... although it is presently available in the UK ... it will not be available in the States until AUGUST.

Well let me tell you something - I can't wait that long!

I've listened to all the clips (the first single, "I Understand," is pretty good) and watched both of the videos, and I really must have this now. NOW! Or at least soon (like, within a week). Delayed gratification is just not my thing.

Oh, but my crush on lead singer Roddy Woomble happily lives on, even though he's grown his hair out and he's looking a wee bit girly.

Ill-Tempered Trout

This afternoon I'm going to be trying out the Skype free internet telephone service. Anyone else use it? Right now I've just got a cheap microphone hooked up, but I think if I like it, I'm going to invest in one of those adapter boxes that let me use my regular cordless telephone to make/receive the free internet-based calls.

Speaking of my regular cordless phone, on Saturday I dropped $100 on new ones - the Panasonic KX-TG2357B (2.4 GHz DSS Cordless Phone with Dual Handsets, Answering System, and Talking Caller ID). It is freaking FANTASTIC. The antenna lights up when I have an incoming call, which means no more missed calls because I've got my music playing too loudly.

The antenna also flashes slowly when I have a new message on the answering machine. I don't even have to LOOK at the baseset to see if I have messages; I just have to eyeball the antenna.

The talking caller ID is pretty nifty, too, but only works well when the incoming call has name-and-number caller ID. Cell phone calls all seem to be limited to number only.

Aaaaaaaaaand my boss is gone all week.

Every Single Song On the Radio

Low Millions "Here She Comes" Listen | Buy

And what we have is a connection
We got front row seats to each other's affection
You're such a thirsty rose
I can still see you when my eyes are closed

My love glows when I'm with her
And she flows like a river

My love's every single song on the radio
My love's every pretty face on video
My love, my love
I'm seeing her in everyone
Here she comes

And when I don't know where you are
It's like I see you in every passing car
I can see you in a crowd
Or I can see you when I'm looking at the clouds

My love glows when I'm with her
And she flows like a river

My love's every single song on the radio
My love's every pretty face on video
My love, my love
I'm seeing her in everyone
Here she comes

And she shines
And the stars look up to her
Yea she shines
And she shimmers

My love's every single song on the radio
My love's every pretty face on video
My love is a thousand pages of beauty
And here she comes

Forever May We Wave Goodbye

Aimee Mann "That's Just What You Are" Listen | Buy

And you're always telling me that it's my turn to move
When I wonder what could make the needle jump the groove

I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think
You're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing 'cause

That's just what you are

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
Like it would kill you just to try and be a nicer guy

It's not like you would lose some critical piece
If somehow you moved point A to point B
Maintaining there is no point changing 'cause

That's just what you are

Now I could talk to you till I'm blue in the face
But we still would arrive at the very same place
With you running around, and me out of the race

So maybe you're right, nobody can take
Something older than time and hope you could make
It better, that would be a mistake
So take it just so far 'cause

That's just what you are

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
You're like a sleepwalking man
It's a danger to wake you
Even when it is apparent where your actions will take you

And that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are

That's Mah Bannah

Heh. That phrase is never gonna get old. Long live Krusta!

About the banner change. Yes, there's been a banner change. Didn't notice it, did you? Look up there at the top of the page, in the black image that says "highwaygirl." Underneath that. That's what is new.

I was talking to RandomBen last night (on the phone, no less - and he is mean because he wouldn't explain the significance of all the bells and whistles that I kept hearing in the background), and we got on the subject of how The Military Branch That Will Not Be Named randomly blocked my random little website.

Me: It's not like my site is porn or something.
RandomBen: It's ... intellectual porn.

I thought that statement was both a.) wildly flattering, and b.) way cool (man). And since this site exists purely for my own amusement, I decided that from now on, I will randomly (there's that word again) rotate different things my friends have said into the banner. Funny things, poignant things, wry things, and smartass things - they're all fair game.

Don't worry, I won't embarrass any of you.

The United States of Me

Louis XIV "Pledge of Allegiance" Listen | Buy

She said "How come boy, aren't you tired of talking about sex?"
I said, "Little girl, what do you really expect?"
And then she pledges her allegiance to the United States of Me
Oh she says, "You're such a little bitch to me."

She says, "Headcase, headcase, turn that thing around
Let's play a game when you hear me make a sound
Just go quite a bit faster, pretend I'm gagged and bound."
Oh how I love to hear that sound

Milkshake, milkshake, I love to feel you sweat
We don't have to go to the pool if you want me to make you wet
Can you keep a secret?
'Cause the best little secrets are kept
You're my best little secret yet

Well kitkat, kitkat, kitten you're the kinks
She said, "Let me feel your love on me, come on make it stick"
I'm ten of the best of your little baby chicks
So you're my sweet tooth sugar fix

Tick tock, tick tock, oh baby feel the clock
You don't have to do a thing, you know I like your baby talk
Just make sure the something something and turn the lock
(unintelligable line)

Milkshake, milkshake, I love to feel you sweat
We don't have to go to the pool if you want me to make you wet
But can you keep a secret?
'Cause the best little secrets are kept.

Certifiable Attention Whore

Rappy: http://www.netgrocer.com/
Me: here's the real test
Me: DO THEY HAVE DIET SUNKIST???
Rappy: Julie, please accept what I'm about to say with the understanding that I very much love you
Rappy: but you're fucking insane
Me: well you know where THAT'S going...
Rappy: haha
Rappy: dude, why do you think I said it ;-)
Rappy: *panders*
Me: hahahaha
Rappy: I am the attention whore to your certifiability

(And the answer is yes, they do.)

Here Comes the Sun

I'm just not understanding this - Congress wants to pass a bill to extend daylight-saving time.

Theoretically, Congress can pass a bill for just about anything. They can reschedule New Year's Day for July 17 and say that A.M. and P.M. are now switched.

But as far as I know, they can't do anything about the amount of time it takes the Earth to orbit the sun, the degree of planetary tilt, the rotation of the planets, etc.

Of course, Tom "Screw Ethics" DeLay might have something to say about that.

I know I'm missing something basic here. What is it?

Well, yeah, that I do understand, but - Congress can't mandate how much daylight we actually have. Right?

I'm confused.

I'm Everything I Would Like To Be

(Edited to add a more colorful, kickass rendering below.)

I've made my very own superhero:

I'm getting ready to punt the little dog for putting paw prints on my fancy boots.

I don't have a name for her yet. Maybe something like "Princess WRAAAAUGH!" or "Princess I KILL YOU."

This is the colored version. I started with a black & white line drawing.

ETA: Here's another one for Eric, since he thought the sword was "way too blasé." I also figured out that most of the elements have two color selections (a base color and a highlight ... the first try only has one selection colored in on each element).

One. MILLION! Dollars.

Stolen off The Ben's site:

I am 69% Evil Genius.

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the
Evil Genius Test
@ FualiDotCom

It just cracks me up that Al Gore is used to depict a level of EVIL. *scoffs*

A Friend Indeed

Me: this is the day that will not end
Me: *flings self off balcony*
Rappy: *catches*
Me: awww
Me: you're a good friend, Rappy

See You Me

Eric and I spent an hour playing around on the Globe Explorer website last night. Just plug in an address and you'll get a satellite image of the area in question. The images are so detailed that I could see my car outside of the building where I work. Military bases, amazingly, are not blacked out.

I'm Your Sea of Devotion

The Jayhawks "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" Listen | Buy

We talked for hours at a time
And I came to my senses
You're more than a friend
You're my perfect lover

I'll never be all you want me to
But that's all right

'Cause I'm gonna make you love me
I'm gonna dry your tears
And we're gonna stay together
For a million years

It's the least I can do
Just to make you my baby
No words could describe
Oh, pinch me I'm dreaming

Your hair's long and black
As it lays 'cross my pillow
When I stare in your eyes
I get lost in your glory

I'll never be all you want me to
But that's all right

I'm gonna make you love me
I'm gonna dry your tears
And we're gonna stay together
For a million years

When you were a little girl
Your great big world came tumbling down
So sad

Yeah, the river it bends
But it flows to the ocean
And baby here I am
I’m your sea of devotion

I'll never be all you want me to
But that's all right

I'm gonna make you love me
I'm gonna dry your tears
And we're gonna stay together
For a million

I'm gonna make you love me
I'm gonna dry your tears
And we're gonna stay together
For a million years

Still So Smrt

The Commonly Confused Words Test

The E in Team

Six months ago I rambled on about how much I liked the iPod commercial that had black silhouettes of people flailing about to Steriogram's "Walkie Talkie Man."

So I was talking with Eric a few days ago (although it might have been just yesterday, I'm not sure - it all blends together) and I think we were talking about white-person dancing, and I brought up the iPod commercial because the chick with the ponytail dances the way I dance.

Then I tried to actually find the commercial on the Apple site. Alas, it has been removed. I spent about 20 minutes using Google to try and find it, with no luck. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I ROCK when it comes to Internet research. There is usually nothing I can't find.

Except this time. I could not find it.

So I was at work today and Eric tells me he has a present for me, and he sends me a link - to the JAPANESE version of the Apple site, which still has the commercial archived. He had been looking for it on and off all day long, and his perserverance had finally paid off.

But then it was a matter of saving it. After some thinking, I scanned through the HTML code of the page to find the direct link to the Quicktime movie, slapped that link into Macromedia Homesite, coded it up, then right-clicked and was able to save it.

We're a pretty good team, as it turns out.

SO NOW IT IS MINE. FOR ALL ETERNITY. I've got both the 480 size and the 320 (the 480 won't upload properly, but it's on my hard drive).

That Eric would spend any time, much less a few hours, trying to find this for me ... how great is that? I know it's just a stupid iPod commercial, but I really wanted to see it again, and Eric knew that. His finding it is one of the more considerate things that anyone has done for me recently.

He shall be rewarded handsomely for his effort.

My Thoughts Are Many Miles Away

Simon & Garfunkel "Kathy's Song" Listen | Buy

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I

Odds at Ends

I'm having salad for breakfast. Mmmm, gorgonzola cheeeeese.

Anyway, a few random things. The next book I buy will be Stephen Potter's Lifemanship, which was described by the New York Times thusly:

Brilliant.

In the wake of the whole Terri Schiavo mess, the need for information on advanced health care directives has become obvious. Don't rely on just telling your family what you want; put it in writing. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Association's website has specific forms for each state available.

A recent issue of Newsweek included two columns on Terri Schiavo that I thought were very good – Jonathan Alter's "Take a Look In the Mirror" and Anna Quindlen's "The Culture of Each Life."

From Quindlen's column:

And from Alter's:

How Long Must You Wait For It?

Coldplay "In My Place" Listen | Buy

How long must you wait for it?
How long must you pay for it?
How long must you wait for it?
For it

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I'll wait for it
And if you go, if you go
And leave me down here on my own
Then I'll wait for you here

How long must you wait for it?
How long must you pay for it?
How long must you wait for it?
For it

Singing please, please, please
Come back and sing to me
To me, me

Come on and sing it out, now, now
Come on and sing it out, to me, me
Come back and sing

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn’t change
And I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah

Apple is God

Maybe it was the overabundance of Woody's Blueberry Ice. Or maybe it was the boredom. Either way, I spent a good 60 minutes in the wee hours of this morning watching the visualizations on iTunes. They're just so ... hypnotic.

The first is my favorite; I might use this as a background image at some point.

The Leeeeeeeader

Emperor penguins look up at a giant imposter at Tokyo's Ueno Zoo, Japan. Zoo director Teruyuki Komiya dressed up for a stint in the penguin enclosure for the annual April Fool event to display a human being at the zoo. (AFP/Yoshikazu Tsuno)