Operation Do Something, Stupid!

Starting tomorrow, I have nine days off. And since I haven't updated this site nor really taken any photos in, oh, forever, that is going to be my little project for my time off:

Every day I will be travelling to a new destination to take photos, and then I'll post them here in the evening. I've got a map of my area and have drawn a 60-mile circle around my home; most destinations will be within that circle.

On Sunday or Monday, though, I plan to go to St. Augustine for the day. I've never been there, plus I want to get my ninjacar out on the open road to test the highway gas mileage.

Turn, Turn, Turn

I haven't travelled anywhere since my roadtrip through Arizona and New Mexico a year ago, so I think it might be time to get the heck out of Florida for a long weekend. What I'd really like to see is some fall color, since there are only two colors of leaves where I live - green, then brown (and on the ground).

I'm thinking that the last week of October or first week of November might be a good time to get away, but I'm pretty sure it's past peak season in New England for this sort of thing, so I'm not sure what other options are available.

Ahoy, Mateys!

I seriously just spent two hours clearing off all the frickin' spam comments. Dirty rotten spammers - may they be tormented in perpetuity!

I've been busy for the last ... how long has it been? A long time. I've been busy but I'm going to rededicate myself to capturing my life and all the random things in it for posterity.

I also hope to wheedle out some time to take photos again.

But anyway, how have you been? I've been fairly well; things are going nicely in my life if I do say so myself.

I'm still in love.
I'm still torturing myself at the gym.
Satchel is still amazingly cute (and has a new nickname).

And my newest idiosyncrisy is that I am no longer eating processed foods (for the most part ... I still eat salad dressings and stuff like that, but I've sworn off frozen dinners and fat free bologna).

We'll see how long that lasts, though.

One last thing - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mamé!!

Word Association

STATE OF THE NATION

Current Mood: Disappointed
Satchel: Uncontrollable
Marcel: Wonderful
Big Brother 6: Underwhelming
Work: Taxing
Temperature: Rising
Keane's Under the Iron Sea: Masterful
Jake: Jesus-y
Bullshit excuses: Lame
Skinny Cow Cookies & Cream ice cream sandwiches: Addicting
New dishes from Pier 1: Modern
New shoes: Painful
Current administration: Shameful
Raleigh, NC: Goal

Killing Them Softly

Me: alligator kills woman
Me: and that is why all alligators should be killed
Jen: OMG
Jen: That is crazy how he just attacked her
Me: and you defended them!!!
Jen: I admit, I do love the gators
Me: even if they ripped your arms off and let you bleed to death? ;)
Jen: then, no

Me: alligator kills woman
Me: *screams in fear*
Rappy: god, just thinking about DF is making me angry again.
Me: think about having your arms ripped off by an alligator instead
Rappy: good idea
Rappy: Jesus, that's horrific
Me: THEY SHOULD ALL BE KILLED
Me: every last single one of them
Rappy: right along with the roaches
Me: amen, sista-friend

And now this - two more women killed by alligators. I'm especially weirded out since one of them lives one town south of me, and her sister is married to a man who shares my last name.

It's Monday

And this is how I feel:

A Sphynx kitten is held before a referee while being evaluated at an international cat beauty contest in Bucharest Romania Sunday May 7, 2006. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)

D-Day

It's been a good morning so far - talked to Marcel on his way to the airport, worked out for an hour, and now I'm back at home busily doing last minute preparations. Thus, the list is moved up:

THURSDAY NIGHT

Resistance Is Futile

Me: I didn't win the lottery last night.
Marcel: So you're not a millionaire?
Me: No. Sorry!
Marcel: Well actually, you're priceless.

How can I possibly resist this man? HOW?!?

Two Days to Go

Two days and a wake up, really. Friday is my personal equivalent of VE Day - Marcel will be here to visit!

But there is much left to be done. And this morning I realized that I have a mustard stain - nay, mustard STREAKS - on my favorite pair of jeans, and the stains don't appear to want to come out no matter how hard I scrub. So now I'm quite pissed about that, given that these are my only jeans that fit me just right.

So Jen and I are going out at lunch to shop for Plan B.

I'm going to post my list of things I need to do so I don't forget something:

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

Single Digit Flower

In honor of my attaining Single Digit Midget status (i.e. less than 10 days until the BIG DAY, usually a reference to someone in the military who is going home soon) today, Marcel sent this to my office:

Click the photo for a high-resolution version

Can I pick 'em or what?

Only Nine More Days

Follow the Bouncing Boob

So I was at the gym this morning for the first time since ... Friday? I think it was Friday. I had a busy weekend and yesterday morning I was too tired to go (Marcel's fault), so this morning I got back on track.

Anyway, I noticed something about my posture on the arc trainer while I'm working out. If I'm very focused on what I'm doing and blocking everyone else out, I stand up straight with my shoulders back. But as soon as I start looking around and notice a man looking my direction - not necessarily even looking at ME, but just in my general vicinity - I subconsciously hunch my shoulders forward and try to make my chest concave.

I'm embarrassed by my bouncing boobs! I know I shouldn't be - they're just breasts, dammit! - but I want to hide them just the same.

I wear two sports bras to the gym because as of yet I've been too cheap to shell out the $60 for the Enell Sports Bra that I really need. I willingly spent $90 on a heart rate monitor, but I won't drop $60 for good breast support. Something is wrong with me.

I really need Target to start carrying the Enell bra. I think if I could try one on to make sure I had the right size, I'd be willing to pay for it.

Where's the Beef?

Or, Penis, Penis, Who's Got the Penis?

On Saturday I took my nephew Alex over to the Museum of Science and Industry in Tampa to see BODIES ... The Exhibition.

It was freakin' COOL. I was a little worried that Alex (who is 10) might be a little grossed out by it, but he liked it a lot. The only room we sort of breezed right through was the one on fetal development (i.e. babies in jars). The exhibit is made up of a series of rooms that address a specific topic (digestion, neurology, reproduction, etc.).

Let me back up a second. The day started with Alex's football game at 11 a.m. It was the first game of the season (he's in a YMCA youth league) and he did really well - two catches, one for a touchdown, and some good defensive plays. He's on the Cowboys this season, and there are two girls on his team. One, nicknamed "Ladypants" (because that's what I heard when Alex was talking about the girl in "navy pants"), kicked ass with two touchdowns.

After the game Alex and I stopped at McDonald's for lunch on the road, then headed over to MOSI. It took us about 30 minutes to find a decent parking space (parking is free, but the Renaissance Festival was also going on nearby, so there was nowhere to park).

The first thing we did at MOSI was go to the IMAX Dome Theater to see "Dolphins." Neither Alex nor I had seen an IMAX movie before, so it was an overwhelming experience. MOSI's IMAX theater is a dome, so the film filled our entire visual field. You could look to the upper right and see something, then glance to the lower left and notice something different. It was a little disorienting when the camera started swooping down on a coastline, but still an amazing experience.

And I love dolphins, so of course the film itself was terrific (with soundtrack by Sting!). The story of Dean and JoJo almost made me tear up a little bit.

After the film it was off to see some dead bodies. There were a lot of people at the museum because it was the second-to-last weekend for the exhibit. The first exhibit of a full body that we came upon was of one posed in a reclining position. Alex and I were admiring the muscular systems when I heard the following:

WHERE'S THE PENIS?

My head whipped around to see who was inquiring as to the location of someone's penis, and it was a little old lady about four feet tall. She practically pushed me out of the way to get right up to the body, and then she started checking out the body's crotch. Clearly there is no humility, even in death.

WHERE'S THE PENIS, GEORGE?

I'm assuming George was the little old woman's husband, and George was glancing around the room trying to sink down into the carpet to escape detection. I'm standing there trying not to crack up (because we all know that PENIS is the funniest word in the English language), but not doing a very good job of it.

George: I don't know where his penis is, Sylvia.
Sylvia: Why would someone cut off his penis?
George: I don't know, Sylvia.
Sylvia: Do you think someone stole his penis?
Me: *snicker*
George: I don't think someone stole his penis.
Sylvia: So WHERE is the PENIS, George?
Me: *snort*

Fortunately, there was a plethora of plasticined penises for Sylvia to gaze at throughout the rest of the exhibition. Not to mention all of the preserved testicles that looked (to me, at least) like door knockers. I don't think I'll ever look at testicles the same way ever again, now that I've seen them laid bare.

I also thought it was funny how, even in death, some men are more impressive than others.

After BODIES we went over to the Kids in Charge! museum. That was a lot of fun because there was so much hands-on stuff to do.

We spent almost five hours at MOSI, then drove home, ordered from Pizza Hut (a medium half cheese, half Pepperoni Lovers), and then played World of Warcraft until 1 a.m. Alex was nice enough to allow me to take a call from Marcel, after I asked for his "permission" to do so, and then proceeded to grill me with questions about Marcel that included "What color hair does he have?" and "Are you going to marry him?"

Ten year olds - so precocious.

Swoonworthy

Someone that I've been missing (but thinking about constantly) just wrote me this:

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we are in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.

It's a quote from a Calvin & Hobbes strip. I love Calvin & Hobbes. I'm not sure he knew that, but even if he did, I'm taking it as a SIGN.

Plus, how sweet of a sentiment is that? I will admit that I read it and swooned.

I am so, SO gone.

And So It Begins

This morning I was walking back to my desk at work after a meeting and I saw this:

Someone sent me FLOWERS!!!

Who is this someone? He is my potential Option E, Marcel. I spent the rest of the day answering the questions "Is it your birthday?" (almost, on Sunday) and "Who are they from?" (someone really wonderful).

Here's a closer shot of the arrangement:

And finally a macro shot of my favorite type of flower in the arrangement (but I don't know what type it is):

*mimes "pretty!"*

Unseen Power of the Picket Fence

Here are the names of two companies you should never, ever trust:

Cambridge Management Services
Atlantic American Realty Group

I wouldn't trust them to convert my DOGHOUSE (for my non-existent dog), forget converting an apartment into a condominium.

Why shouldn't you trust them? Because they a.) will lie to you, and b.) will try to take your money for outrageous, fraudulent charges, if they can.

Two weeks ago I posted about how Cambridge Management (who ran my old apartment community, GrandeVille at Cobbs Landing)(and yes, I'm naming everything in hopes that Google and other search engines manage to index these pages) informed me that they were withholding my $275 deposit for cleaning and repainting fees relating to the apartment I had just vacated.

The apartment that they were going to completely gut as soon as I left.

They were assessing me a $100 fee for a "full clean" and $175 in fees for repainting three rooms, despite the fact that the manager of the complex told me THREE TIMES that I didn't have to do either.

So last Friday I sent a certified letter to the manager formally stating that I was objecting to their withholding of my deposit, due to the fact that they said one thing (I didn't have to clean/repaint) and then tried to hold me financially responsible when I followed their stated guidelines. I asked for my deposit back, and if I didn't get it within 30 days I was going to file a complaint in small claims court.

I threw around various Florida Statute numbers. It was really quite fun. I'll take a photo of the letter later and post it.

Today I get a response back from the Cambridge Manager. It starts off with a whole lot of bitchitude, which I don't mind - I actually expected it. I mean, I was basically calling the company out for being dirty nasty two-faced liars who were trying to defraud me of $275. But at the end of the bitchitude, we have this:

"I am revising the charges against your deposit to $60.00. A refund check of $215.00 will be sent to you from Cambridge Management Services, Inc."

I WIN!

But I'm also TOTALLY PISSED OFF at these people, now.

I'll take photos of both the original assessment and the revision and post them later, but the revision breaks down the charges to $20 for repainting the two red walls in the dining area, and $40 for cleaning the appliances. As it happens, I completely agree with those charges. If they had initially tried to assess me $60 against my deposit, I wouldn't have objected to that at all.

But WHICH IS IT??? Does it cost $75 to repaint the two red walls, as the first assessment says, or does it cost the $20 they've decided - only after I called them on their bullshit - to assess me? Because it can't be both, and I find it reeeeeeeeeeeeally really hard to believe that they're UNDERCHARGING me now.

I mean, duh - they colossally overcharged me in the beginning. Why? Because they're dirty nasty two-faced liars who were trying to defraud me of $275.

I don't even want to know how much money these companies have been able to pocket simply because most people don't want to take the time to question it. It's a totally shady business practice, yet it's one that I'm sure goes on all the time, everywhere, and is probably just seen as what you do in order to save yourself some money (kind of like how some health insurance companies won't pay on the first claim because they're hoping you'll just pay the bill yourself rather than wrangling with them to pay it).

I mean, really - Cambridge Management Services' initial assessment against my deposit was the exact same amount as my deposit. Don't tell me that was a coincidence. I'll bet they got my objection letter and thought, "Damn, I guess we'll have to actually give some money back to this one."

Anyway, I'm happy to be getting $215 back, and I think the assessment of $60 for damage beyond reasonable wear and tear was fair. But the fact that these companies tried to take me for a ride, financially, was something I just didn't want to let go. I'm not saying $215 is insignificant, 'cause it's not (my credit card will be even happier this month). It might be a cliché, but this really was more about the principle of the issue, not the money.

I think I need to do this sort of thing for a living. I do "indignant, and knows their rights" really, really well.

The Gauntlet, It Is Thrown

You know how sometimes you have to deal with companies - insurance, credit card, hospitals - and they want you to pay for something that you don't think you should have to pay for, and they make it so frustrating to resolve the issue that you just say "Screw it" and give up and capitulate and decide that you just cannot be bothered to waste time dealing with these moronic assholes?

That's not me. I live for that kind of stuff.

So today I picked up a certified letter at the post office from the apartment complex I just moved out of two weeks ago. A bit of back story - my apartment complex was bought by a developer, who is gutting every unit, remodeling them, and then selling them off as condos. When it came time to prepare to move out, I asked the apartment manager what I needed to do - what did I need to clean, did I need to repaint, how much effort should I put into tidying up the place before I leave?

I was told on THREE occasions (*holds up three fingers*) the following:

1. I didn't need to clean anything but the tub/tile in the bathroom, because they were literally going to rip out everything in the unit - carpeting, linoleum, cabinetry, shelves, doors, appliances - and start over. So there was no need to do anything but maybe vacuum and not leave the place gross.

2. I didn't need to repaint the walls because they would be refinishing them and applying stucco.

Fair enough! I went over this information with the manager THREE times (*holds up three fingers*), the latest being February 1 when I dropped off a check for four days of rent.

Fast forward to today. I get the certified letter, but there's no deposit refund, there's just a form itemizing the deductions they are making from my deposit. They include:

a.) $100 cleaning fee
b.) $175 fee to "return walls to white"

They want to deduct $275 from my deposit. Guess how much my deposit is? Go on, guess!

THAT'S RIGHT - $275.

What a coincidence, eh?

So my first thought is, "They're trying to charge me $100 to clean the apartment ... right before they tear everything out of it." Does that make any sense to you? Because it doesn't make any sense to me, and I don't think it's going to make sense to the judge in small claims court when I take these idiots there.

As for the painting - true enough, I didn't "return walls to white." Because I was told I DIDN'T HAVE TO. If I was told I had to, I would have, especially since I know I could repaint the place cheaper than the $175 they're trying to charge me.

I can't wait to draft my letter to them stating that I'm objecting to their little attempt to withhold my deposit. I'm looking forward to the battle, to be honest. Because these people apparently think I am either:

a.) criminally stupid, or
b.) not willing to fight back.

They're reeeeeeally really wrong about both things.

ARK'D

This has seriously been one of the worst days ever.

It rained. Oh my god did it rain. It rained more today than it has in FORTY-SIX YEARS. It rained 15" in five hours. I'm not even kidding you. Check the St. Pete Times tomorrow if you don't believe me.

It rained all damn day, and not just a little rain - it poured. ALL DAY. I didn't get nearly as much moved over as I had planned, which means tomorrow will be extra special stressful.

And the forecast for tomorrow? That's right - more rain.

Oh, and the phone jack installation guy bailed on me because he "doesn't work in this kind of weather." Well OK THEN, you ENORMOUS TWIT. Fortunately, I found a jack behind a different outlet, and that one seems to work. So I do have telephone service.

And the cable installation guy hooked me up with both TV and modem (obviously).

I'm going to be brutally unhappy around 11 a.m. tomorrow morning when we start loading the furniture. If I make it to, say, 3 p.m. without curling up into the fetal position and sobbing uncontrollably, I'll be very happy.

Call Me (Except You Can't)

So.

This afternoon I signed the lease on the condo. Then I did the walkthrough with the agent to document all the little, minor things that are "wrong" with the place.

It was after this process that I realized something:

THERE ARE NO PHONE JACKS IN THE CONDO.

That's right - no phone jacks. None. Not ONE. There are solid switchplates where the phone jacks SHOULD be, but there aren't any actual JACKS in the place. I unscrewed each switchplate - all FIVE of them - hoping that there would be a jack underneath, but nooooooooo. There was only wires. And not the individual colored wires, either - there was only a single bundled wire in white cable.

Dubya Tee Eff??!?

How do you prewire an entire two bedroom apartment and not go the extra, oh I don't know, ONE YARD to actually install the phone jack??

It totally blew me away and now it's bugging THE HELL out of me. I've already received permission to deduct the cost to install the jacks I need out of my next rent check - I called Verizon but their policy is that if the phone line works at the box outside, it's not their responsibility to bring the signal into the actual dwelling (WHATEVER, VERIZON) - so now I just have to find someone to, you know, come out and install the jacks so I can have actual phone service in my brand new condo.

So as of Friday, I no longer have phone service.

Everything else, though, was really nice.

It's Curtains for Me

Currently I am: Sneezing my face off. So I will not be cleaning/packing any more stuff until I get my hands on a dust mask tomorrow. Because my entire body aches from all the sneezing.

I got out of the house today to go buy a floor lamp from Target, and to browse the offerings at Pier 1. I had seen a few things on the store's website that I wanted to take a look at in person. I'm glad I did, because I found the perfect curtains for my new bedroom:

The photo makes the color look flatter than it is in person. It's got a little bit of shine to it, so the fabric looks nice and rich. They're fully lined, too, so they should cut out sunlight fairly well.

I plan on hanging the curtains on a piece of brushed aluminum pipe (cut to fit) from Home Depot and then attaching some big-ass finials on the end. If that's not possible, I'll just buy a silver/nickel rod and finial set from Target.

I'm considering whether or not I need holdbacks.

I've been surfing the 'Net looking for things, and I stumbled upon a site called CB2, which is apparently some sort of offshoot of Crate & Barrel. So I'm looking through the site's products and found this shower curtain:

Sense a theme? I'd already decided to decorate the master suite (bedroom, bathroom, closet) in a dark brown and blue color scheme, so this shower curtain is not only the proper color, but the fact that it also has grommet accents ties the two rooms together, stylistically.

Could I sound more pretentious?

Of course, I have to use the metal shower curtain roller rings, because I love them so.

Now I'm gearing up to place a substantial order from The Container Store.

Two of the Things I Want from IKEA

... but probably cannot have.

The walk-in closet at my new place is barely walk-in-able, so I am now on the lookout for a wardrobe/armoire. I don't want to spend a mint - and I doubt my stepdad can whip up something custom made within two weeks - so I checked the IKEA website for selection.

I WANT THIS ONE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY:

It's the Meldal wardrobe, and it's just $100. But it's not available online, the bastards. My second favorite is the inexpensive ($80) Aneboda wardrobe:

Nice, eh? But what will likely happen is that I jam the closet space I have so full of stuff that my clothes are perpetually wrinkled.

Gymboree

Damn, jog-walking outdoors on sidewalks is going to kill my knees. I did 3 miles today (1.5 miles each in the morning and evening) and I can already feel it.

I'm considering dropping my membership at the gym. Mainly because it's $40/month, and although I go on average four times per week, that price seems a little steep.

I used some Christmas money to buy the TransFIRMer system this afternoon at Target after reading raves about it on various message boards. If it works well enough for me, I think I'll drop my gym membership after the mini-triathlon in April. Or sooner, if I decide that daily access to a pool isn't that important for training purposes.

Put it this way, I could take the money I'm spending on gym membership and put it towards buying a bike, which I need to do anyway.

More experimentation with infrared photography can be found on Foecus.

Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

(HAHAHAHA, the title of this is going to crack me up all day long.)

OK, many weird things are happening today.

FIRST, I'm wearing a skirt to work. Just because I wanna. Of course, it's messing with my coworkers' heads because they're wondering if I have a job interview on my lunch hour or something. To which I say ... maybe.

SECOND, this morning I realized that I actually kind of enjoy cardiovascular exercise. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!? I get a weird sense of satisfaction out of doing it. I'm not uber-competitive with others, but I am definitely competitive with myself. I like to push myself to see what I can achieve (although not in a freaky "extreme sports" kind of way). On Saturday I was working out on the arc trainer - totally unmotivated at first, I just wanted to get my 30 minutes over with - but at some point a switch in my brain flipped and I decided to go REALLY HARD with the intervals for as long as I could.

I ended up going for 60 minutes total, with intervals on incline 7 (out of 10) and resistance up around 50 (out of 100). A lot of the time I felt like I was out-and-out running and that my boobs were about to bounce right off my chest (note to self - get a more constrictive sports bra), but I was really kind of kicking the ass, comparatively, of the petite blond girl on the elliptical machine.

I don't understand people who go to the gym and don't work out hard enough to sweat. What's the point of going? Go hard or go home!

And then, if you're like me, become so exhausted that you nearly fall sideways out of the shower that night, since your legs are so tired and your muscles so gelatinous that you can barely stand up, much less keep your balance. I would have laughed through the concussion, though, I'm sure.

THIRD, somehow ... and I'm a bit freaked that this has happened ... I'm wearing the same shoes that I was wearing in February when I fell down the stairs at work and broke my arm. I have studiously avoided wearing these shoes to work, because I'm superstitious like that. I've been up/down the stairs four times today already, going verrrrrrry slowly, but I think I'm going to switch shoes when I go home for lunch.

Bored Now

The reason I haven't been updating that much is because my life is so fantastically boring these days. Every weekday is pretty much the same:

5:15 a.m. - Arise
5:30 a.m. - Arrive at gym
6:20 a.m. - Leave gym
6:30-7:50 a.m. - Shower, eat breakfast, get ready for work
8 a.m. - 6 p.m. - Work (with an hour off for lunch; sometimes I go home, sometimes I go to the gym for weight training)
6:45 p.m. - Arrive home after finishing whatever errand I needed to run after work (there always seems to be something); feed cats and take a shower
7 p.m. - Make/eat dinner; read my regular websites
8:30 p.m. - Make sure gym bag is packed for the morning, various other household stuff
9 p.m. - Go to bed

Yes, that's right - I go to bed at 9 p.m. now.

*loser*

On the weekends, replace "work" with "doing all those things I didn't have time to do during the week," like go grocery shopping, watch stuff on the TiVo, clean my apartment, do laundry, catch up with friends/family, etc. Every Saturday morning I drive down to Clearwater at 9 a.m. to see my nephew's flag football game.

I need more time, dammit. OR, I need a houseboy to come stay with me and cook and clean and make the apartment all pretty and shiny and stuff.

I really do need to get married!

Merry Christmas To Me

I hauled my ass out of bed at 5:15 a.m. yesterday so I could get to Staples by 6 and buy the following:

Isn't it pretty? It's an HP Photosmart 2610 printer/copier/scanner/fax machine. IT DOES EVERYTHING. Except, apparently, make me dinner.

So I was all geeked to set it up last night, and even though the box does say that it "does not include cable" I wasn't too worried - I already had an HP Deskjet printer, and it has a cable! I'm all set.

Except ... no. This printer connects to the computer through either a USB or Ethernet port. The box included an Ethernet cable, which is all well and good except for the fact that I don't HAVE an Ethernet connection/hub/whatever. I will be connecting through one of my 850 USB ports.

Which means I have to go out this morning and buy a USB cable. Bleh.

I also picked up three packs of 4" x 6" Canon photo paper, so I will be giving the gift of my photos to various people this holiday season. BE FOREWARNED.

Calf the Battle

Guess what? I got an email from my Aunt Jeanne, who I now know reads this site!

*waves to Aunt Jeanne*

Jeanne, if you're reading this, I'll write you back over the weekend.

Mini-updates:

1. Work is very, very hectic and a bit chaotic right now. I'll be going into the office for a few hours every Saturday for the next few weeks, to test content that's being converted. Long, boring story for you non-tech types. We have a Nov. 14 deadline for quite a few clients and we're working hard to meet it.

2. I stayed off my right calf exercise-wise from Tuesday to Thursday, but went back to the Y this morning (at 5:15 a.m.)(guh) and worked out on the elliptical again. And, well, my right calf is back up to DEFCON 4 level of pain. I'm icing it every hour so hopefully that will help. I think I'm going to have to lay off the elliptical machine until my calf muscle is completely healed, though. It felt about 90% better this morning, but it's much worse now. I guess I'll have to make due with the recumbent bike.

3. While at the Y I managed to lose the foam covering on one of my earbud things. If anyone knows where I can buy replacements, please comment and tell me where.

4. I'm meeting my dad for lunch at Jason's Deli today, where I plan on STUFFING MY FACE full of raw vegetable-y goodness. Mainly so I can have a Warm Delights Molten Caramel Cake tonight while catching up with stuff I have on the TiVo.

Rocky Mountain Thigh

I'm writing this today because by tomorrow, I might be dead.

This morning I got up at 5:30 (yes, willingly) in order to haul my ass down to the Y and work out for a half hour on the elliptical trainer. I was a little slow and didn't get there until 5:50, and by then all of the machines were occupied.

Bastards. I was all jazzed to work out, too.

I was already down there and unwilling to be denied, so I decided to do a bit of weight training using the fancy Cybex Eagle (with integrated top plate lubrication!) equipment that the Wellness Center offers.

Wait, let me back up for a second. NO, first a brief digression - Scooter Libby got indicted! HA HA HA HA HA! I'm sorry, but no grown man should be referred to as "Scooter."

Anyway, backing up, last night after work I stopped by the Y for my orientation session. I met with A.J., a frighteningly buff guy who learned me on the proper technique in using all of the Cybex machines. He was very nice and I might actually pay for a few personal (training) sessions with him.

Although if I end up with biceps like his, I'm going to be very unhappy.

So this morning I decided that even though I didn't have enough time to do the full body (upper and lower) circuit of machines (there are 14), that I'd do all of the lower body machines, then the ab machine, and then do whatever upper body machines I still had time for.

I enjoyed the Leg Press greatly. The Leg Extension was a bit harder, but not too bad. The Seated Leg Curl was kicking my ass by midway through the second set, but I soldiered on, which is why I fear that my quads might be screaming in Teh Pain by tomorrow morning.

Calf Raise (*yawn*). I skipped the Glute machine because I'm still dealing with some lower back pain. I finished with the Hip Ab/Ad (huh?), and thankfully this machine is positioned so that your back is to the room, otherwise I'd have been opening (wide) my thighs SEVENTY TWO TIMES for the enjoyment of my fellow YMCAians.

After using the Abdominal (Snowman) machine, I was really kind of fatigued, but I had seven minutes to kill so I worked in the Chest Press and Lat Pull machines. I was going to go for the Overhead Press to round out the morning, but honestly, that machine is scary and it's really really hard and makes my chest feel all oogy. I know this from the FIVE WHOLE REPS I did with A.J. while orientating last night.

And then I drove like a banshee to get home by 6:45, at which time I started my normal morning shenanigans.

I've felt pretty good today energy-wise, so maybe there's something to this whole exercise thing? I don't know.

What I do know is at the moment my thighs are very, very angry with me.

Willlllllmaaaaaa!

Been busy. My last day on the job is Friday, followed by a weekend of getting my apartment back to a state of normalcy, and then on Monday I start my career as a woman of ill repute.

Or something.

Guess what? Another hurricane is menacing me. This time it's Wilma (tell me you can read that and not think of The Flintstones), the most intense Atlantic hurricane ever, based on millibars, or millipedes, or some such nonsense.

It's expected to hit south of here (I'm in the Tampa Bay area), but you never quite know with these things. Hurricanes give plenty of notice that they're coming to visit, but they're fickle about where they're going to stay the night.

So yesterday I was in Target to return a shirt and pick up miscellaneous items, such as toothpaste and laundry detergent. For some strange reason I remembered - and I never remember, usually - to visit the camping goods aisle to check out the Coleman stoves.

I've never been able to find any of these things in stock, because by the time I remember to look for one, it's only because a hurricane is fast approaching. There are never any to be had because, no brain surgeon am I - everyone else is having the same thought.

But last night I remembered and, even more amazing, there were products in stock. So I picked up the PowerPack™ Single Burner Propane Stove, a can of propane, and for good measure, the Pack-Away® Personal Size Lantern (which I now see is available exclusively at Target).

So I'm all set this time, should the power go out for long stretches. Of course, my diet will consist of 10 varieties of canned soup, chili beans, and diced tomatoes, but I'm not one to complain. Much.

Crash Into Me

Hi. How are you? I'm not sure what day it is anymore.

EZboards suck.

But Teem pointed me in the direction of the following, which does not suck:

(Courtesy of this chick's profile on some random message board.)

Phil: I've already told him "smart, witty"
Phil: But he's asking the obvious physical questions
Me: Tell him my breasts are 38DDs
Me: BUT
Me: I have wide feet
Me: AND my legs are not long
Me: even though I'm almost 5-9
Me: I have a long torso
Me: actually, tell him I'm built like Fred Flintstone
Me: and then tell him to fuck off
Phil: LOL

And speaking of the god-forsaken EZboard...

Me: http://p079.ezboard.com/fezboardfrm98.showMessage?topicID=107.topic
Me: I love the first post in that thread
Rappy: tee hee - I just started reading that before you linked
Me: it really is AMAZING that the CEO mentioned marketing stuff
Me: I did a double take at that
Rappy: dude, they are doing a really bad job at attempting damage control
Me: a textbook BAD case of damage control
Rappy: it's kind of like the pilot thanking you for choosing Air "X" right after the flight attendant slammed a cart into you
Me: or right after the plane crashed
Rappy: Thank you for *boom* flying Oceanic

Me: I love sarcastic smart people
Rappy: "maybe in a couple of months, they might put up an announcement that says "We will re-imburse you for 7 days for you losing all your data, all your threads, all your posts, all your replies...etc..."
Rappy: tee hee
Rappy: these people ARE funny
Rappy: I'd laugh if it all wasn't so sad
Me: yeah
Me: well, I have laughed
Me: because some people are funny
Me: but shit
Me: HT might never recover
Me: "That was a whole lot of nothing dressed up as a technically challenged something..."
Me: HAHAHAHAHA
Rappy: ok, i may want to marry skeletal grace...
Me: I snorted out loud
Me: "the new ezboard experience"
Me: that phrase cracks me the fuck up
Rappy: hehe
Me: "So, stop being all happy. Business is business. If you want to feel happy go hold hands in a corner."
Me: *offers hand, for holding*
Me: you can pick the corner

Mint Juleps for Everyone

I went to the Kentucky Derby this weekend:

I had a really good time.

Cocking the Holes

Rappy: are you watching Medium?
Me: not right this second, no
Rappy: no, I mean, do you watch the show?
Me: <-- at work
Rappy: thanks for the clarification there, Einstein

Me: an Aussie posted on me site!
Rappy: I saw!
Me: *responds*
Rappy: and he's bringing friends
Rappy: you're like, a kegger

Jake: SAMSONITE!!!
Me: SUCTION CUP DILDO!!!
Jake: PIG POOCH ORANGATANG!!!
Me: uhhh ...
Me: OK, you win

Jake: she's talking about leaky holes right now
Jake: and... caulking
Jake: pronounced COCKING
Jake: COCKING THE HOLES damn you
Jake: plugging them
Jake: stopping the leakage
Jake: because they have "DRIED AND SHRUNK"
Jake: they are "OLD"
Me: *retches*
Jake: "IF I WERE HOME RIGHT NOW, I'D BE WET"
Me: NO
Me: she did not say that
Jake: yes
Jake: she did
Jake: but referring to her kitchen windows
Jake: from the rain

Jake: you excited him
Me: I will stab you if you continue that line of thought
Jake: hahahaha
Jake: you...
Jake: aroused him
Me: I mean it
Me: SHUT IT
Jake: you...
Jake: made him sweaty
Me: Jake
Jake: *smiley*
Me: our friendship hangs in the balance
Jake: hahahaha

Jake: http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/04/
oldest.munchkin.ap/index.html
Me: you and your midgets
Jake: the midgets of the world need a leader
Jake: and I
Jake: I am up to the challenge
Jake: I shall harness the power of the midget
Jake: and with that midget power, RULE THE WORLD
Me: like a team of tiny oxen

Liars Suck

Me: should I even bother responding to this email?
Me: I'm thinking "no"
Rappy: if you still feel compelled, it should state:
Rappy: Fuck off. - Fin -
Me: You always have such a way with words

Ignorance Is Bliss

I'm getting sick again.

This is no surprise given that my workplace is looking like 1938 Europe, when the Black Death spread across the continent. But I've already had my turn at being sick, dammit! Six weeks ago I completely lost my voice and could barely speak for five days, followed by the sinus congestion from hell (i.e. the "my head feels like a pumpkin" days).

But I woke up last night coughing so badly that I took a shot off my bronchial inhaler to settle my lungs down. The coughing has continued throughout today unabated. Great. Just GREAT.

So for lunch today I had a Jamba Juice Citrus Squeeze, with added Immunity Boost. Yeah, that'll work.

My birthday is in less than seven days! I hope everyone is planning accordingly.

I just glanced over my website stats and I've learned that this site is the second result when you search Google for the phrase "ways to finger a girl." FANTASTIC.

Last night I was talking to someone and he referred to me both as a "shithead" and as "Eleanor." I didn't get the "Eleanor" nickname, so he explained that it's a reference to the ultimate unattainable car from the movie Gone In 60 Seconds - the Holy Grail.

Kind of perplexing, yes? Quite the dichotomy between those two names, eh? I'm not quite sure what to make of it. And I'm wondering - does the fact that I laughed at being called a "shithead" mean that I cannot claim to be offended by it?

Two Things

1. I have fifty million (or maybe just fifty) Gmail invites, so if anyone wants one - anyone at all - just send me an email at highwaygirl at gmail dot com and I'll give it to you.

2. My Yahoo email account is acting up (I haven't been able to access it for 24 hours) so if you wrote me, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that Yahoo is being stupid.

Fingered

I'm watching The Killing Fields, again, for the four-hundredth time, and just like the 399 times before it's making me want to cry.

So yeah, I'm not updating the site as frequently as usual because my one typing finger moves far too slowly to keep up with my brain. Every time I try to write something cohesive it comes off as extremely disjointed. Just ask anyone who has been e-mailing me.

Jen is coming over after work tonight to take me to the grocery store, because I still can't drive. My pinkie remains quite painful, and I can barely bend it, so until those things sort themselves out I'll be begging rides from family and friends.

The novelty of the full arm cast has officially worn off.

Speechless

Literally.

Just a quick note to say that I'm rilly, rilly sick right now, complete with laryngitis and the inability to sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time. My lungs, as per usual, are in revolt, but this time they've brought my sinuses along for the battle.

So I just don't have the energy to make updates. Maybe this weekend.

Addition By Subtraction

I was talking to someone at work today who is going through some difficult circumstances, and I was trying to stress to this person that change is a part of life. That people change, and how they feel about things - including other people - changes too.

It's hard sometimes to make sense of these things, but in the end, I truly believe that the people we have in our lives are the people we're supposed to have in our lives. And that for every person whom we lose, we gain the opportunity to open ourselves to another. One who might enrich our lives in far greater ways than the person we've just lost.

Addition by subtraction.

This is just how I actively choose to see this sort of thing. Otherwise, I think it's too easy to focus on what you no longer have ... and then you miss the fact that life is one continuous, glorious opportunity to have and do better; to be and feel more.

So for my friend at work, I say this:

There are many people in this world that can love you; there are many people in this world that you can love.

As hard as it is to let go of something, I think it's easier to accept if you see it, ultimately, as something that will be positive in your life. Addition by subtraction.

My coworker, I don't think he believes that. He's trying to bring something back that has ended. That's something we've all done. "Why can't they be who they were? Why can't we go back to what we had?"

I don't really know that there's one answer, other than that people just change. For a vast array of reasons, they change. You just accept it and move on to something better. Because "better" really is out there, even if it doesn't seem like it is right now.

So I was driving home tonight thinking about this, and I realized that right now, at this moment in time, I love everything about my life. There is nothing I would change. I don't know why I feel this way, since I have reasons not to (stupid lungs).

Even that I wouldn't change. I just ... I'm just happy. For no specific reason, and because of no specific person. I'm just very happy with the big picture of my life.

To quote Kerouac, the circumstances of existence are pretty glorious.

Onward and Downward

Achtung! Delirium ahead.

(This was all before the day got ultra-hellish. I am, unbelievably, still at work at 7:38 p.m. with no end in sight.)

Me: please let me dieeeeeeeeeeeee
Rappy: I'd rather you didn't. While you're still with us, who was the dreamy boy who played the dead fighter on Cold Case?
Rappy: I've seen him before.
Me: the dead fighter...
Me: oh, I Tivo'd the last ep
Me: haven't seen it yet
Rappy: You know, this Tivo deal is the devil.
Rappy: You're totally not caught up on anything. It's like you're ASKING me to spoil you!
Rappy: *curses tivo*
Me: SHUT UP!!!
Me: don't you EVER take TiVo's name in vain!

Rappy: it's SO stormy here. It's been hailing on and off all afternoon
Me: wow, hail!
Me: we get that sometimes
Me: I like hail
Me: it's like God is throwing rocks at you

Me: tee hee
Me: I made a funny on LG
Rappy: let me go see!
Rappy: where?
Me: tee hee
Rappy: hahaha
Rappy: HAHAHA!
Rappy: *snort*
Me: tee hee hee!
Rappy: let's see who catches it first
Me: yes
Me: we shall see
Rappy: I'm actually dying laughing
Rappy: does roo know?
Me: I was typing "lemming" and just thought - No. Let's do "lemon"
Me: I gave her the same "tee hee" I gave you
Rappy: she must, as I just pointed out the banner hadn't been changed
Me: yeah, she told me to change the bannah
Rappy: hahahaha
Rappy: *tears*
Rappy: did you do it on purpose or did it just come out and made you laugh?
Me: it made me laugh as soon as I thought of doing it
Me: so I DID IT
Me: I had typed "lem" and then thought of it
Me: I am fully caught up on LG
Me: *breakdances with glee*

Roo: we need to take down the lesley banner
Roo: can you do it?
Me: yeah, I will do that
Me: tee hee
Roo: what?
Me: *pinky to lip*
Roo: rappy is tee heeing me too
Me: tee hee
Roo: you wrote lemon????
Me: TEE HEE HEE!
Roo: you're wacky!
Me: I am delirious with sickness

Sick of Myself

...when I look at youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

A little Matthew Sweet to start the day never hurt. Although it probably won't help today, for I am sick. My body has been toying with the idea of getting sick for a few weeks - I'll start feeling a little poorly, and then get better - but now it's made a firm committment to feeling like hell.

I believe it's the flu, since I woke up this morning with body aches 'n chills (to go with the cough I had yesterday). My lungs, of course, are in full-on rebellion. Viva la revolución!

And now, off to get ready for work.

Remains of the Day

Updated throughout the day as time allows.

9:05 a.m.
Me: what is cute waiter's NAME?
Rappy: Oh, it's not good
Rappy: Dvir.
Me: how do you pronounce that?
Rappy: d-veer
Me: that's very close to d-jee-ber
Rappy: omg, FUCK OFF
Me: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Me: *twirls around the office*

Pieces of Me

And upon leaving work, I feel like this:

T.F.G.I.F.F.

Yeah.

Anxious Egg

This is how I'm feeling this morning:

Are You Ready to Rumble?

Today I saw Hulk Hogan at my vet's office. This was no huge surprise, since it's well known that he lives in the area. My sister-in-law once saw Hulk shopping for produce at Winn Dixie.

Anyway, I'm just standing there with my mom, waiting to talk to the receptionist, and a woman who turned out to be Hulk's wife came in first, blowing by everyone and gushing about the two Jack Russell Terriers in the waiting room. She made small talk with the JRT owner for about 15 seconds, then Hulk came through the door carrying what I thought was two purses. One was hot pink leather with rhinestone accents, and one was Louis Vuitton. Come to realize later that they're both items you use to carry pocket dogs.

So Hulk and his wife aren't even made to wait with all the rest of the unwashed masses in the waiting room; they go right in. Then I see two blonde teenagers walk in and follow Hulk. His son looks normal; his daughter looks like she's trying to channel Paris Hilton (long white hair, pout, tragic lack of fashion sense). The difference is that his daughter looks healthy (in the sense that she looked to be at a "normal" weight rather than rail thin).

My mom and I were placed in the exam room next to the Hogans. Their two dogs' names are Romeo & Juliet, and they were suffering from impacted anal glands.

Celebrities - they're just like US.

Back to Hell

Reason #465 why the Internet is so very cool – You can post a song from a band you like, and a few days later the keyboard player from that band leaves you a comment.

I cannot imagine going back to a pre-Internet world, purely from an information standpoint. I've been completely spoiled by my ability to find information within seconds about whatever topic I'm interested in. I can't even fathom having to actually make a trek to a library (and even those are online now as well).

The flip side of this is that I assume that the information I want is out there. Usually it is, but when it isn't, I'm actually surprised.

Jake: he has arrived
Me: *genuflects to a higher god*
Jake: *cocks weapon*

My DVD player died on Saturday during the movie fest. I guess it didn't appreciate the dry humor of A Mighty Wind, because it gacked within 15 minutes of playing that disk. The display kept reading "H07" and refusing to read the disk. After doing a Google search (see? I'm totally dependent upon the Internet) I learned that the Panasonic RV-32K is apparently a piece of crap that is known for the "dreaded H07 error" - which means its spin motor has died.

According to the user reviews on CNET I should consider myself lucky to have gotten two years out of the thing. Or as "Yet Another H07 Victim" writes:

"Searching Google, it seems getting the H07 (It's dead, Jim!) error after a year in a half is doing pretty good!"

Fortunately I - for some unknown reason - bought the extended warranty when I bought the player from Circuit City on 12/30/02. Yep, it died nearly two years to the day after I bought it. So I took it to the store on Sunday and they're sending it out for "repair." I think they'll change their minds after they realize what is wrong with it. If it can't be repaired, then I get a replacement of equal value and ability, or, if they don't have a comparable model, a gift card in the amount of my purchase price. Which is pretty damn good.

What's not pretty damn good is Circuit City telling me the process will take 3-4 weeks. I helpfully pointed out that the warranty states that after 7 days they have to provide me with a loaner. The clerk balked at that, saying they no longer use that warranty plan (they replaced it with something I can only assume is drastically inferior and much more in their favor). So I had her call the manager, because my paperwork clearly stated what my rights were, and they are required to honor the warranty under the terms in which they sold it to me.

And so I WON. But I have to wait until Sunday to pick up the loaner.

Happy New Year!

I've created a gallery of the Last Sunset of 2004. These photos were taken at Sand Key State Park in Clearwater, Florida. None of the photos have been retouched.

I created the gallery using Photoshop Elements 3.0, which is turning out to be the coolest thing ever. Seriously. It resized the original photos and created all the thumbnails and the gallery HTML. This is just a basic gallery (there are about 30 different backgrounds and themes you can use) and I didn't create captions for anything.

I'm spending the day locked in my apartment watching movies with Ian. So far we've watched King Arthur (mmm, Clive Owen/Ioan Griffudd/Hugh Dancy hotness) and Timeline (mmm, Gerard Butler hotness). Next up is A Mighty Wind (mmm, Christopher Guest hotness).

Oh, I hooked up my DVD burner today and it works perfectly.

*big toothy but-I-will-not-do-anything-illegal grin*

Let's Not Forget We Are So Strong

There was a lot I was going to write about today, but I'm running late so I'm just going to do the stream of consciousness thing.

First, and most importantly, I want to take a moment to tell all of my friends how much I appreciate your presence in my life. I think I do a pretty good job of letting people know what they mean to me, so I'm not going to name any of you specifically. But I want to thank you all for being there for me this past year. In good times and bad (and everything in between) I knew I could count on you all for support, advice and friendship.

I value all of you so much. You show me in so many different ways – both big and small – that you love me. I hope you all know how much I love you, too.

I'd also like to thank everyone who reads this site for thinking enough of me to visit and read my words. Extra thanks to the people who comment.

The thing I'm looking forward to most today is going to the beach at sunset with my nephew Alex. He's interested in photography, and even has his own digital camera! So I thought it would be fun for the two of us to go down to Indian Rocks Beach and take photos of the last sunset of 2004. I'll try to post shots from both of us over the weekend.

Oh, some of you might remember how I was talking about feeling "it" but not really knowing what "it" is? Well I think I've figured it out. For me, "it" seems to be intellectual stimulation. Which sounds very elitist in a way, but I can't deny it – I need someone who challenges me intellectually.

If marriage means you have to ask your partner for permission to do things, I'm never getting married. Because I just can't see ever getting to the point where I'd be all right with asking permission from someone to do the things I want to do. I believe in the courtesy of telling someone what you want to do and asking them if they want to join you; but I don't think I will ever willingly relinquish the freedom to choose my own path.

Not that I think all marriages require giving up freedom, but ... well, maybe I do think that. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I know. I just can't see doing it. I want one of those relationships (monogamous, long term) where it's truly two distinct, fully-formed people being together and sharing parts of their lives with each other ... but not being required to share everything together.

Does that make sense? Maybe not. Suddenly I can understand relationships where the people involved still keep separate residences.

Here's another song from Sleep Station that you can download: "Caroline - London, 1940" (right click on the link). I really like this band; they were recommended on Sgt. Missick's journal. Their most recent release, After the War, is a concept CD about a WWII soldier. I've listened to clips and I do believe I will have to purchase it.

I talked to Trina last night and she's definitely in for the "Ireland in '05" trip!

In honor of the last day of the year, I'm going to go get pad thai for lunch. And a smoothie from Jamba Juice. And then it's back on the wagon hardcore for 2005. I'm also going to redo my financial budget this weekend so I can plan how much money I can save for the Ireland trip. All non-essentials are being cut.

(For the record, the monthly fees for this website, Netflix and Tivo are considered "essential.")

That's it! You know, I have a really positive feeling about 2005. I think it's going to be a very good year for me. I hope it's a very good year for you, too.

Stubble On My Sticky Lips

Me: heh, one of my friends just asked "what is Jake like"
Me: how the hell do I answer that?
Jake: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Jake: the greatest person on earth
Me: copied and pasted
Jake: hahahahaha
Jake: dude
Jake: that face of you is SKERRY.... the expression reminds me of Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange
Jake: but alas, I must say it is still a good photo
Jake: despite the scariness
Me: you are so mean!!!
Jake: I said it was a good photo
Me: thank you so much for calling me scary
Jake: IT'S A BLOODY RED LIGHT FOR CHRISSAKE!
Jake: shall I call you Alex now?
Me: YOU CALLED ME HEINOUS!
Me: you've made me cry, are you happy?
Jake: HAHAHA
Jake: yes, as a matter of fact, I am
Me: I'm sitting here telling my friend how cool you are
Me: and you're being CRUEL
Me:
"Me: Jake is cool. he's 21, very cynical, but also very smart."
Me: SEE?!?!?
Jake: hahahahhaaha
Jake: I never said YOU were scary
Me: I say nice things about you
[PAUSE]
Me: do you feel guilty yet?
Jake: you're the best

40' Remain

Only lovers
see the fall
a signal end to endings
a gruffish gesture alerting
those who will not be alarmed
that we begin to stop
in order simply
to begin
again.

– Maya Angelo, "Late October"

It's Always Better on Holiday

Apropos of nothing – I love dolphins, the clowns of the sea:

A one-month-old dolphin named Zeus swims beside its mother, Mancha, at the Madrid Zoo December 17, 2004. Zeus weighed 12 kilos and measured 90 centimeters long when born on November 4, and is expected to nearly double its weight in its first two months of life. REUTERS/Paul Hanna

Blurry is THE KING of snappy comebacks:

Me: King Arthur comes out tomorrow!
Blurry: King Arthur is gay?!?

And Rappy is always asking me to do things for her:

Rappy: Please, please kill me now.
Me: *stab8
Me: dammit, I can't even kill someone right

I had to post this, not to make myself look good, but because Mike's words really meant a lot to me, and I want to remember them:

Me: there's this website called anysoldier.com
Mike: you are so caring
Me: and it lists servicepeople who don't get much mail
Me: from family, friends, whatever
Mike: you know, you're a wonderful person
Mike: you make the rest of us look bad though

Food-wise, am I now addicted to these, which seem like such a bad idea, but in reality are reeeeally really good in a whole wheat hot dog bun with marinara sauce on top:

Fall Down Go Boom

Yeah hi. I'm back. My fingers are fuh-REEZING and my head feels like it's about to burst from an aneurysm, but I'm back.

Just don't make me laugh. Or breathe deeply.

I will post more later, when the twinkling, pulsating lights are no longer flickering before my eyes.

Tonight We're Gonna Party

I am off to Atlanta to visit Roo and meet up with Teem for a weekend of booze, boys and buying. Oh, and birthdays - because today is Roo's!

Happy Birthday, Proo!!!

I will try to update from Atlanta with tales of adventure, debauchery, and babana shakes.

Smile Like You Mean It

Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark!!

Me: I am so in love with Rhett Miller
Jake: you just like girly men
Jake: I mean... his name... it's RHETT for chrissake
Me: he's ADORABLE
Me: and he name drops Kafka in his lyrics
Me: he am smart
Me: I'm watching an interview with him and I just want to throw him down and lick his face
Jake: hahaha
Jake: loser
Me: if you saw him, you'd want to lick his face, too

Former Van Halen singer David Lee Roth is training to become a paramedic. Which is really cool, I think. Except the idea of Roth performing CPR on me gives me the willies.

Me: how do I add an arrow to an image?
Me: I need a preformed shape tool
Jake: just draw it
Me: yeah thanks, I have no artistic ability
Jake: it doesn't require one
Jake: I shall show you the ways of the warrior
Jake: so simple
Me: fock, I just messed up
Me: HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jake: you must be doing it the hard way
Jake: come to me
Jake: I'm lazy
Jake: I'm like an old man
Me: no
Me: you come here
Me: because I did something
Me: and now it won't go away
Jake: but I have no legs!

I'm so proud of myself - I had an entire catching-up conversation with Phil and NOT ONCE did I say the Bad Word. I am inordinantly pleased.

Me: I'm going to come right out there and punch you in the chest, Jake

There's a movement afoot to convince me to move to Canada, and to that end certain people who shall remain nameless - and I mean that, this time - are spouting arcane trivia from the website CanadianAlternative.com. Did you know that the United Nations voted Toronto as the most multicultural city in the world? If you care about that sort of thing, you should move there.

Me (standing at Jake's desk discussing the CMS): Your bitterness and cynicism is just a self-defense mechanism.
Jake: I just know that it doesn't matter what I do. Either I will fail, or the world will fail me.
Me: I have to go write that down.

Global Warming

*waves to the visitors from Sweden, Russia and Western Europe*

I want someone to comment in Russian. Please? Or Swedish, I'm not picky. If the person from The Hague comments, it will make my year.

One other thing...

HAPPY VETERANS' DAY, PHIL! *salute*

Sparkle Motion

Me: CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?
Jake: can you KILL me now?
Me: hahaha
Jake: I'm blasting PF's Comfortably Numb right now
Jake: Trying to zone out
Me: it's only 8:17 am, Jake
Me: it's a little early to ask me to kill you
Jake: Man, I really need to become a drug addict

More political fire and brimstone - how's THAT for separation of church and state? - from columnists at the New York Times. Bob Herbert says that Bush campaigned on fear:

Roo: ooooh! look at your journal today!
Roo: *bounces*
Me: what's wrong with it?
Me: did it explode?
Roo: hee
Roo: Friday I'm in LOOOOOVE
Me: *twirls*
Me: http://www.oldnavy.com/asp/Product.asp?wdid=10065&wpid=265095
Me: that's so classic looking
Me: I might buy that for Ian
Me: or me
Roo: hee. or both!
Roo: I love shopping for boys
Me: probably myself
Me: brb
Me: sweet jesus
Me: it is days like this when I wish the chemo HAD made me sterile
Roo: aww...I'm so sorry
Me: we will go out trolling for boys two weeks from tonight!
Me: I will be your Wingman

Texas is wasting no time changing their textbooks in order to eliminate ambiguous, asexual language. Because god forbid we let people make their own decisions about things; we must specifically tell them what to believe. Plus, starting to teach intolerance early - say, in middle school - gives you that much more opportunity to really make your biases take hold in those impressionable minds.

Speaking of Texas ...

Me: I see your AIM icon
Me: I want to play poker too!
Coworker: Oh really!!!
Me: texas hold 'em!
Me: *throws down*
Coworker: outstanding
Coworker: you will play
Coworker: oh yes
Coworker: you will play
Me: I've learned everything I know from Phil on Celebrity Poker Championship
Me: and from the World Poker Tournament
Coworker: are you entry level?
Me: I can't kick your ass, no
Me: but I understand the game
Coworker: outstanding
Me: but I start to bet emotionally and then I need you to punch me in the face
Coworker: Can I count on you for the big money games?
Me: please, we work at the same place
Me: you know I must be poor
Coworker: all those hours??
Coworker: don't be shy
Coworker: you're too humble
Me: yes, but I have those other addictions to feed
Coworker: I won't ask
Me: Well I'm totally in, but I'm not going to be throwing down big money
Me: I just want to say "I'm ALL IN"

And after work, Clover and I are going shopping! *screams*

Full Of Sound and Fury

*struts around proudly showing off I VOTED sticker*

My sticker actually says I MADE FREEDOM COUNT - I VOTED. Damn skippy. I waited in the line for precinct 617 (which is what is listed on my voter registration card) for 45 minutes, which I didn't think was too bad for 11 a.m. I got up to the line for E-H last names and handed over my driver's license and then was told that I'm "not in this precinct."

I just KNEW those people were going to try and suppress my vote!

Me: I wonder if he missed it, or decided not to go
Jake: I wonder if I should kill myself or not
Me: not yet, but soon
Jake: soon, very soon

So I whip out my actual voter registration card and show it. Which is when I'm told that it's an old card, and they've had lots of people from my street come in with old cards. We're really supposed to be in precinct 654. Fortunately, that precinct was 10 feet away on the other side of the church auditorium.

In conclusion, my vote has been cast and my civic duty performed. Now I feel qualified to bitch and moan about the results of this election for all eternity.

Me: god dammit, why couldn't Al-Jazeera release this yesterday???
Me: Link to He's an Evil (But Smart) Bastard That Bin Laden story
Jake: yeah read that.... I think it makes a lot of sense
Jake: he's a smart evil bastard
Jake: just like bush
Jake: well
Jake: bush is a stupid evil bastard
Me: well that's the thing - he's always been smart, and that's the biggest problem
Me: these people aren't stupid, unfortunately
Jake: As for President Bush's Iraq policy, Bin Laden said, "the darkness of black gold blurred his vision and insight, and he gave priority to private interests over the public interests of America.

"So the war went ahead, the death toll rose, the American economy bled, and Bush became embroiled in the swamps of Iraq that threaten his future," bin Laden said.

Jake: he's absolutely correct
Jake: he had a master plan all along
Jake: he knew bush would be stupid enough to do it
Me: yep, and this part too
Me: "All that we have to do is to send two mujahedeen to the furthest point east to raise a piece of cloth on which is written al Qaeda, in order to make generals race there to cause America to suffer human, economic and political losses without their achieving anything of note other than some benefits for their private corporations," bin Laden said.
Jake: yep
Jake: we are a joke
Me: we are puppets
Jake: oh yeah, and I heard on the radio this morning that bush and kerry spent a combined total of 600 MILLION DOLLARS on campaigns
Me: marionettes
Jake: what a bloody waste
Me: dancing for bin Laden
Jake: I think I'm gonna move to Canada
Me: I'm moving to New Zealand
Jake: ha
Me: Thousands of sheep ... another four years of Bush ...
Me: Thousands of sheep ... another four years of Bush ...
Me: it's not a difficult choice
Jake: sheep in single file
Me: amen, brother

My Tra La La

(I meant to post this Friday after work, but then I got ... distracted.)

George Carlin speaks the truth, including this luscious little offering:

Me: why did I get here early?
Me: WHY?!?
Jake: it's simple
Jake: you're stupid
Jake: like me
Jake: and the rest of us
Jake: JOY
Me: you have to cheer me up today by being even more bitter and cynical than usual
Me: my fish died yesterday
Me: and I am very sad
Jake: damn, that sucks
Me: I had him for 2.5 years
Jake: That sounds like a long lifespan for a fish
Jake: What happened?
Me: he was just really old, and he had a tumor for the last six months
Me: he lived about a year longer than expected
Jake: I take it it wasn't a goldfish then
Me: a betta fish. Otis Redding.
Jake: hahaha
Me: honor his memory, dammit!

Jake: it's more than that
Jake: it's fucking retarded
Jake: with a cherry on top

The "L" Word

It's too bad you can't see me. Because I have the biggest, best combination of grin/smirk on my face right now. This weekend has truly been, to borrow a phrase from Rimbaud, a "derangement of all the senses."

So that's why I haven't been around. I'll be coming up for air soon, though. I'm about to give you a call, Roo, and I'll catch up with you later tonight, Teem. I never know where to find you, Rappy, so I guess I'll just give you the news tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words about Otis. They are much appreciated.

*twirls*

The Toes Knows

Any man who buys me a pedicure, well ... that's the man for me.

I thought we were going to Super Target. But no!! Instead, Clover took me to the hair salon that I frequent, because he had pre-booked appointments for me. His way of honoring my remission anniversary, and acknowledging that I've had a rough two months (even though he hasn't been the cause of any stress, for the most part).

So I ask him just what I'm getting done, and he said "I told them to book you for whatever you usually have done, plus the super-deluxe pedicure thing. They tried to sell me a one-hour massage, but I've got that covered myself."

*eyebrow*

So I ended up getting my highlights redone, and a haircut. My stylist, Kim, kept going on about how sweet it was when Clover came into the salon last weekend to set things up (she was there at the time and they conferred about what I might like).

The pedicure, by the way, was AWESOME. I could get addicted to those, if they weren't $65.

While I was having everything done, Clover went out to "run a few errands." He picked me up two hours later, then we drove back to my apartment. He pulled a big cooler out of his trunk, led me into my apartment, and directly out to my screened patio. Then he opened the cooler and started setting up for the "indoors, but kinda outdoors, bug-free picnic." He had even gone so far as to drive out to the Simple Gourmet to pick up some of the hummus that I'm addicted to.

*keeps*

His birthday was Sunday, and I gave him all of his many gifts. He was very happy about, and appreciative of, all of them. Heh.

Getting My Irish Up

(I do know that this entry title is deeply, deeply obnoxious ... but when Clover said it I couldn't stop laughing.)

Otie, Otie, Otie

It is bed delivery day! Sometime between the hours of 12 and 4 p.m., Rooms To Go will be delivering a brand new queen size pillow top mattress and boxspring. Finally, I have graduated to adulthood.

I bought these sheets in Green (they're more of a blue green) yesterday. Also bought this dust ruffle. I was going to pick up a mattress pad, but the ones that felt nice (i.e. not stiff or scratchy) were $60. That seems like a little too much for a mattress pad. Must check out Target.

Yesterday was a blur - shopping, reconfiguring a new computer, cleaning, hanging out, and watching a ton of Futurama episodes on TiVo. Today promises four loads of laundry (ugh) and a trip to the airport (double ugh). I need to work in time to do the online driver's safety course (stupid speeding ticket) but I don't think I want to waste any time on that today. The weather this weekend has been gorgeous, so I think after the bed gets delivered we're going to go out and do some exploring.

One upsetting thing, though - I think my betta fish, Otis Redding, is not long for this world. He's had a tumor-type thing on his back since May, which had become fairly large and then started wrapping around to the other side of his fin about a month ago. I noticed yesterday morning that he was hiding in his aquarium decoration, and when I coaxed him out I saw that the original tumor had sort of "ruptured" - it doesn't look like it's an open sore, but it's definitely breaking apart and falling off. Which sounds like it might be a good thing, but I don't think so. Especially because he's hiding a lot and hanging out on the bottom of his tank. He's still eating, which is good, but ... I think the end might be near.

I never expected him to live another five months when the tumor first appeared, so I know that any more time he has is a bonus. But I will miss the little guy regardless.

Yearning

*sigh*

yearn·ing (yûr'n'ng)
n.
A persistent, often wistful or melancholy desire; a longing.

Clover is messing with my head. Not purposely, but his absence - one week and counting - is proving to be rather ... agitating? Distressing? I guess this is what happens when you see someone almost every day for six weeks and then suddenly go without them. It is unfun.

We're young and free in America. How dare we be spun by love or the lack of same?

I was searching for something on the site, and one of the search results was this random update entry. I should do more of those; they fun. And they mention most of my friends.

Anyway, I noticed that in that entry I had linked to my biorhythmic compatibility scores with my old crush, Matthew Settle. So I just did them for me and Clover and hot damn! No wonder I miss the boy so much.

Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart that I'm better off without you

HWG: okay, I really like this Dixie Chicks song
HWG: which means I should probably be shot
Rappy: *hands over gun*
HWG: enabler

Fourth Time's the Charm

Well, damn. Hurricane Jeanne is now going to come right over me. In mere hours. And it won't be a tropical storm, as they were predicting last night. It will be a full-on hurricane. My mom called at 6 a.m. to wake me up, so I could prepare. I've got the water jugs filled, the dishwasher is running, and I'm about to go take a shower. Must take advantage of electricity while I have it.

The witching hour is supposedly around 10 a.m. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Pimp My Ride

Today's going to be a really bad day, and let me tell you why: because last night I had one long national nightmare about alligators.

Not just any alligators, either. An alligator with a head as big as a Cadillac. "The biggest alligator I have ever seen!"

I even woke up in the middle of this nightmare to use the bathroom, and when I laid back down in bed and went back to sleep ... the nightmare picked up right where it left off. Clearly my subconscious hates me.

What happened was that I threw a pair of Nikes into the pond behind my apartment, and some time later I looked out my window and saw an alligator's snout bumping the shoes from underneath (they were floating). Then the alligator surfaced and I could see that ITS HEAD WAS AS BIG AS A CAR. And I was skeered.

So then I tried to find the phone number that you're supposed to call to report an alligator sighting - I have no idea if there is actually such a thing, but I was pretty adamant about its existence in my dream - and I was frustrated because I just could not find it.

Then a group of us were in a parking garage (!?) watching the alligator play with the shoes. Somehow the alligator transported 180 degrees to the other side of the garage, where there was another pond (by the way, none of this part of my dream is based in reality)(unlike the other part). And now it had two friends, who were also enormous but not quite as big as the Autogator.

So the people are all standing around with mouths agape, and I'm railing against the very existence of alligators and how they're against God's great design and they are clearly minions of Satan ... and then the three bastards start walking out of the pond up towards the garage. Everyone dives into their cars, except this one old woman who just stands there, ready to be alligator food.

Autogator comes up first, and this bitch is so goddamn big that I am on the verge of sobbing, I'm so scared. Then the other two compadré alligators come up and ... and ...

There are people inside of them. Which perplexes me, even in a dream state.

So I watch the alligators go by and after they've passed, I make this statement - "I want to know how people can be driving alligators and not know it." Because they were driving them like they were cars. The "hood" was the top half of the alligator's jaw, the roof of the car was the top of the alligator's head, and the "body" was the alligator's scaly body.

It was really weird, man.

That's where the alligator portion of the nightmare ended. Then, for some reason, I started dreaming about a three-legged American Eskimo dog named Puffy. My dad insisted it was our Puffy, but I helpfully pointed out that if it was, we were looking at a 30-year-old dog.

Ridin' the Storm Out

Here come the squalls!! My neighbor's kid's pink Big Wheel just went spinning down towards the lake.

We're supposed to get between 8-12" of rain from Hurricane Frances. Which means flooding ... and that's bad because my apartment is at the bottom of a slope.

*places sandbags*

The power has flickered a few times, but I don't think we're supposed to get the worst of it until 2 a.m. Sunday, continuing throughout the day.

Rains / Pours

If it's Saturday, that must mean a cute boy is giving me his phone number.

Today I spent most of the morning and afternoon out and about. First stop was Sonic for a Diet Cherry Limeade (I needed liquids to pace me throughout my big day), and then it was on to Nordstrom. I didn't need anything at Nordstrom; I just wanted to go.

So go I did. First stop was the Bobbi Brown counter, to purchase this cute little travel sized concealer thingy, and the brush..

Then I traipsed over to the Stila counter, to say hello to the counter manager, Christina. This girl (well, she's probably in her early to mid 20s) is so incredibly nice - one of those people who are genuinely warm and friendly. We have a good rapport and she likes the fact that I let her experiment with new products on me. I tried the new Eye Mousses and bought two - Honey and Flame - but they'll be going back because they creased within about two hours on me.

As I was leaving, I made an appointment with her for some trend event in a few weeks, and she gave me a hug to thank me for talking to her about some stuff she has been going through with her sorta-ex boyfriend.

Then I flounced upstairs and bought two shirts. One is a geometric print and the other is stripey. Me like long time.

I grabbed a strawberry babana smoothie from the café and went to Sam Goody because I wanted to buy a CD. Any CD. As much as I love Pete Yorn's musicforthemorningafter, it's been the only CD in my car for more than a week now and I was just tired of listening to it.

So I'm standing there trying to decide what to buy. I consider Tears for Fears' Greatest Hits (remastered!) for $8. I wander back to the Pop/Rock section and peruse the stuff on sale. There's a guy standing around the Js, and he pulls out Jimmy Eat World's Bleed American, which is one of my Desert Island Discs. I comment that he's going to love that CD.

He responded that he actually already had it; or, well, DID. He loaned it to a friend who "lost it" ... but the implication was that the friend just kept it. He said he loved it so much there was no question about replacing it.

So armed with this knowledge, I ask him "What CD are you playing the most these days?" Because I wanted to buy something new, and anyone who loves Jimmy Eat World can be trusted for a good recommendation. I name some other bands I like, and then he pauses for a second before offering up a name - The Killers. He drags me down to the Ks and hands me their CD; it's only $10, so I'm willing to take a chance.

I thank him and walk to the register to pay for it. As I'm leaving, the guy hands me a folded up flier from inside the store (a giveaway entry form) and says, "Let me know how you like the CD." I open up the piece of paper and see his name (Andy) and his phone number.

Now, normally I would think this is weird, having this kind of experience with another random guy. But he really had no choice in the matter. I was carrying the Handbag of Irrational Monkey Love, and I was wearing my cute Depraved Prep outfit. I don't think any man can resist that combination.

Plus, I'm just too damn cute when I want to be.

Then I drove back to my side of the bay and went to another mall (didn't find anything I wanted), then came home.

Now I'm going to nap.

*WIGGLE*

Today I am wearing the Touchable Pants of Eminent Touchability! I am going to get some HOT! PANTS! TOUCHING! ACTION! tonight!

!

My mommy sent me this email last night about the death of one of the zebra finches, Leonardo da Finchi II:

Isn't that sweet? My mommy is a good egg.

Here comes another hurricane.

Finally, my favorite Scotsman, James "Scotty" Doohan, was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Which is a lovely honor for him; I just hate that he is in such ill health, now.

And where the hell were YOU, Shatner! *rage*

Crime Scene Evidence

Click the thumbnail to view a larger image

The second photo is of my new Antonio Melani satchel that I bought at Dillards on Sunday. I had wanted to buy this when it was full price ($120) because I fell d